Surrender
by BackseatBingo
Summary: Elena's attempts to drive away Jenna's new beau Damon Salvatore may end up bringing her closer to him than she ever expected. The main problem: He's 30 and she just turned 17. With so much standing in their way will they surrender to their desires?
1. Here We Go

**Chapter 1: Here We Go**

I own nothing.

" _We've got a light here that's not going away  
If all is broken, and all is lost  
Then I've been found,  
So here's my heart  
I'll give over and over again"_

 _-Matt Kearney_

EPOV

Jenna had been talking about him for months now. He was thirty years old, around her age, but a little older, and had piercing blue eyes and a smirk that made her stomach flip. To me, he sounded like an arrogant asshole, but her rose colored glasses wouldn't let her see through his good looks. I had been dying to meet him to set him straight, my family had gone through too much too let some smug "hot-shot" ruin our progress. The day was finally here, it was our end of the school year barbeque with our closest friends and Damon would be there. To celebrate the end of sophomore year my closest friends would join as well, Bonnie, Caroline, Tyler, and my boyfriend Matt.

Although this day was meant to be happy and light, I couldn't wait to sit down with Damon to discuss his motives in private. I realized that I was only seventeen, but I was mature for my age and knew what my new mother figure deserved. I was just about ready for the barbeque, I had put my dark brown hair into loose curls that framed my face and put on a light fresh face of makeup. I had dressed in a casual, white sundress and wore wedges that showed off my peach colored toenails. I had just finished glossing my full lips and spritzing my honeysuckle scented perfume when I heard the doorbell. "I'll get it!" I yelled from my room upstairs, hoping it was Damon so I could get our talk over with. I went down the stairs as fast as I could without tripping in my wedges and opened the door.

DPOV

I had been dating Jenna for a few months now out of sheer boredom. She was a nice, attractive woman, but nothing special enough to keep around for much longer. It was just about time to cut her loose and go after the next desperate woman when she had mentioned her family's tragedy and my normal cold heart softened a bit as she told me of her new life taking care of two kids. I agreed to come over her house for a barbeque to celebrate the kids' end of school and told myself that I would bow out after that. So I dressed in my favorite black Varvatos shirt and jeans and headed to her house in my Camaro.

Just as I rang the doorbell I heard a raspy, sexy yell from somewhere in the house that they would get the door. I was excited to greet the owner of that hot voice and was rewarded as the door swung open and I met the dark, seductive eyes of a leggy brunette who was less than happy to meet me. "Damon, I presume," she addressed me flippantly.

"I see my reputation proceeds me," I say with my trademark smirk, but don't get the reaction I normally do from other women.

"You're cockiness sure does, follow me," she says flatly, not even giving me a once over before she turns around and leads me into the living room. I appreciate the view as I follow her into the room, the olive skin of her legs being showcased by the tiny white dress and high wedges she was wearing. I hadn't seen a women this appealing in a long while, and was tempted to end things with Jenna today if I could get my hands on her by tonight. The wine I had picked up along the way was helping curb my desires.

"So, Mrs. Judgy Eyes," I got an adorable eye roll in response.

She cut me off before I could continue, "It's Elena, now let's cut the crap so you can explain your intentions with my Aunt." I choked a little on my wine as I realized that this was no women, this was the "kid" Jenna was looking after. "Drink much?" she looked at me like I was crazy, and I was at this moment not my usual collected self.

"How old are you?" I asked simply.

"Just turned seventeen a few days ago, but before you undermine me I will let you know that I have gone through more than people twice your age have and I am mature enough to know exactly what guys like you are after and what you do to nice women like Jenna after you're through with them," she snapped at me. I was surprised to find that she was right, she had an air of maturity and self-awareness about her that made it seem like she was twice her age. "Am I wrong?" she asked plainly after my silence. I liked her, I knew she was only seventeen, but there was something about her that drew me in more than any woman ever had. I knew it was wrong, but something told me that I needed to stay in Elena's life, which meant sticking with Jenna for longer than planned. I was Damon Salvatore after all, who was I to discriminate, especially when this girl was so beautiful, despite being so young.

"You are wrong actually," I said smugly, I already loved getting on her nerves, getting her all hot and bothered. I knew I should stop and just leave this event all together, but I just couldn't. Sticking around wouldn't hurt as long as I didn't do anything, right? "Jenna is special to me and I plan on sticking around for a while, if that's all right with you of course," I continued,

"Like you give a damn about what I think. Like I said I know guys like you and Jenna may be too enamored by that eye thing that you do, but I see right through it," she retorted.

"What eye thing?" I teased, doing the best one I could manage. I was rewarded with a loud exhale and another eye roll.

"Just know, that I have my eye on you and if you hurt her I'll hurt you worse," she threatened, and it was pretty hot.

"I believe it," I said simply, giving her hardly any acknowledgement to get under her skin.

"Good," she said.

"Good." I repeated.

"Fine," she said finally.

"Fine," I repeated. She narrowed her eyes at me and went back toward the kitchen to tell Jenna I had arrived. Elena. Elena Gilbert. I liked the sound of that. I could get used to that name and never get tired of it. What was I going to do?

EPOV

Damon Salvatore. That name made me hot with…anger. Pure anger. I mean he wasn't even that good looking right? Wrong. He was devastatingly sexy, and boy did he know it. As I threatened him, all I could do was think about those eyes that kept nearly undressing me and how much I would like it if they succeeded. I needed to get a grip. I'm seventeen years old, he's thirty. He's also an ass and I needed to get him as far away from Jenna as possible. And me for that matter. My boyfriend and friends would show up any minute now, and I had to keep my head in the game if I wanted him out of our lives for good. What was I going to do?

So let me know how you guys like this story so far reviews are great! The M rating will apply to later chapters. Thank you all for reading and I will update soon. :) Anyone else really miss TVD?


	2. Bloodstream

Hey guys! Thank you to those of you who followed, favorited, and/or reviewed. It means a lot and I love to hear feedback so keep it coming! As promised, here is an update and I will keep updating as soon as I can. Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I am editing all of this by myself, but if anyone catches anything let me know and I will fix it. So enough talking let me know what you guys think of this chapter, I hope you enjoy it. Also, these first two chapters were on the shorter side they will keep getting longer as I progress, I just wanted to give you all a little something for being awesome. :)

I own nothing.

 **Chapter 2: Bloodstream**

" _I think I might've inhaled you  
I can feel you behind my eyes  
You've gotten into my bloodstream  
I can feel you flowing in me"_

 _-Stateless_

EPOV

As anticipated, her boyfriend and friends showed up just after Damon had. Caroline giving her a tight hug that left her breathless and Bonnie shaking her head and smiling before receiving her own. Matt gave me a quick kiss on the lips and as we all walked outside, his hands on my waist, I couldn't help but notice Damon's rigidity.

I smiled despite myself at his annoyance and reminded myself to be extra with the PDA today, he obviously wasn't a fan. I would do just about anything to get him away from my aunt.

"So, any ideas about college Elena?" Jenna asked lightly, trying to start conversation as we ate. I stiffened almost immediately and so did Matt. College conversations or really anything relating to the future usually caused fights between us. I honestly had no clue where I wanted to go, but I did know that I wanted to pursue a career in writing, chiefly journalism.

My mother had given me my first diary and ever since, I had fallen in love with writing. It also was the one thing that reminded me of my mom without giving me the same feeling of dread that followed thoughts of my parents and their deaths. It was my positive way of connecting with her and I would always cherish it. After my long silence, all eyes on me, I carefully chose my words.

"Honestly Jenna, school is the last thing I want to talk about right now. We should just be celebrating the fact that we survived another year of high school, right guys?" I let out a breathy laugh and Caroline, bubbly and talkative as always, picked up the conversation from there. Sometimes I was so grateful for her inability to stop talking, especially when it helped me evade the tough conversations with Matt. At that thought I reached for his hand to squeeze and gave him a small smile which he returned.

Damon's eyes were on us the entire time and I felt them on my face like a ray of sun, making my skin tingle. I allowed my eyes to flit to his for a second and found myself getting lost in them. They reminded me of the ocean on a warm summer day, my favorite thing in the world. I could feel my stomach doing little flips and my heart began to race and he smirked as if he could hear it. _This is ridiculous_ , I thought to myself, _stop it!_ _You're supposed to be taking him out of the picture not making him the focal point_. She would not let this cocky bastard fool her like he did every other girl and it baffled her that he would even try it on his girlfriend's niece. With that I turned my attention away from him and focused on Matt the entire rest of the evening.

"Well everyone, it was a very nice night. Jenna thank you so much for having us, I'm sorry I have to cut the night short, I have early practice tomorrow," Matt said.

"I'll walk you out," I said to him and as we were about to turn to go inside, Matt reached for Damon's hand awkwardly.

"It was nice meeting you man," Matt said with a boyish smile. Damon simply shook his hand, a little harder than I would've expected, and gave him a tight smile. As we walked back into the house Matt whispered, "What is up with that guy, don't you get a bad vibe from him?"

"Damon's just…Damon," I faltered. I didn't know how to describe him, yeah we had just met and yes he was far from being my favorite person in the world, but something about him just sparked something in me. I couldn't describe it if I tried and had no idea what it meant. He annoyed me to no end, disgusted me even, yet I almost looked forward to seeing his reactions to things. I pushed that thought out of my head just as what felt like a bucket of ice water was dropped on my head when Matt pulled me into a kiss.

We were inside the house now, but I'm pretty sure everyone could see us. It was a good kiss, but it was just that. Good. No passion, no fire and I was honestly beginning to think that that just didn't exist. I believed in love, don't get me wrong, but I had never experienced passion and excitement in love, just ease. After the kiss, he walked out of the house to his truck and I walked to the backyard just in time to see Damon and Jenna kissing. To be frank, it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. I needed something to tear them apart and knew just the thing.

Without thinking I let myself collapse on the grass of my backyard and immediately I heard the worried gasps and steps running toward me. I knew this was wrong, I knew that it was especially wrong after everything that had happened with my parents, but something inside of me had to get Damon away from Jenna. I mean Jenna away from Damon. Right. All of a sudden I felt a spark as someone's hands wrapped around my arms and began shaking me. Damon. I held my breath, anxious at having him so close to me.

"I don't think she's breathing!" Damon yelled, losing his natural composure. Then I felt it. Fire. His lips grazed my own as he forced his breath down my throat. It was nowhere near what a kiss would be, which is why I was so surprised to feel the way I did. I stirred almost immediately after that, I couldn't take anymore. With his lips leaving my own after almost a minute, I lazily opened my eyes to meet his very concerned ones.

"My hero," I whispered, just an inch from his lips, slightly sarcastic and slightly in awe of what had just happened. He separated from me with a look of relief mixed with a look I wasn't familiar with. I would've given anything to read his mind just then as we locked eyes.

After my "spill" Jenna insisted everyone go home, including Damon who gave her a brief peck on the lips before going to his car. We locked eyes for a few seconds before he left, and I had a feeling those eyes were trying to tell me something, I just didn't know what. I would never admit this, not even to myself after this moment, but I had felt jealous. For that split second between seeing them kissing and falling to the ground, I had wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss him, and I had gotten a clue as to how when he had "rescued" me. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but Damon made me feel and do things very out of character and I did not like it. Whatever feelings were stirring inside of me had to be tuned out, he was no good for Jenna or myself. I had to figure out a way to get rid of him.

DPOV

Once I got home after a painfully long night of watching Elena and her boyfriend making googley eyes at each other, I decided to have way too much bourbon. I caught myself dreaming before I even realized I had fallen asleep. I was on the porch of the Gilbert residence. With Elena. I was thanking her for something, for saving me, from what I don't know. Maybe it was from boredom, maybe it was from Jenna, or maybe it was from the life I had lead until meeting her, a life with little meaning.

I slowly crept in to kiss her cheek lightly before pulling back slightly and pausing. We locked eyes just as we had before I left that night, but with more intensity, desire, and fire and I leaned in to touch my lips to hers. It was electric and I couldn't get enough. She gripped my leather jacket, pulling me closer to her and I gripped her hair to push her lips harder against mine. Just as we had begun, something interfered and when I looked down, expecting to meet her hooded, lustful, stormy eyes, I saw Jenna's and woke up. My heart was racing. Damon Salvatore did not do this. Girls dreamt of him, panties dropped at the sight of him, but this girl was different. Special. And if this dream had any indication of the future, I was in for a long ride.


	3. Thinking of You

Hey everyone! Thanks for the continued support I have a bigger and better chapter for all of you. Hope you enjoy. I do not own TVD or else it would still be on TV.

I own nothing.

 **Chapter 3: Thinking of You**

" _'Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes"_

 _-Katy Perry_

EPOV

I woke up feeling stupid. What in the world was I thinking yesterday? I was embarrassed and ashamed to think that I could ever feel anything for my aunt's narcissistic boyfriend. Glad about being myself again, I decided to put my hair in a sleek pony and get dressed to get out for a run. Once I was ready I bounded down the stairs and nearly tripped down them all at the sight of him. Great.

"Good morning sunshine," Damon spoke with false cheeriness and a fake smile plastered on his face.

"What are you doing here Damon?" I asked flatly, not amused. I saw him smirk a little at my abruptness and rolled my eyes. "Do you ever plan on answering my questions before I have to roll my eyes or are you just trying to get them stuck like that?" I say in annoyance.

He steps close to me, making my heart rate pick up slightly. I try to back up but his and whispering lips brushing against the shell of my ear make me shiver instead, "I just love to watch you squirm." With that he headed towards the kitchen.

I brushed off his advance and let out a breathy and sarcastic, "Please Damon, come on in, make yourself at home."

"Don't mind if I do," he said without turning around. His presence irked me. I would not let him win like he had yesterday so I chose to ignore whatever was going on with him and Jenna in the kitchen and go for my run to relieve a day's worth of stress I had consumed in only a few minutes.

I planned to stay busy today until tonight's party with my whole grade. Tyler would be supplying the alcohol that I very much looked forward to indulging in and I would be driving Bonnie and Caroline there. I had to stop over Caroline's house to meet them so we could get ready together, a tradition upheld before nearly every big bash in town. I had no idea what I was going to wear, but Caroline had a passion for finding Bonnie and I the perfect looks, styling our hair, and doing our makeup.

I ran the longest I had in a while, six miles. Normally, I could barely do three, but Damon had a way of motivating me to relieve the stress he induced. I only hope that my smart ass comments got under his skin in return. Thankfully when I got home from my run to eat lunch Damon and Jenna were gone.

Just as I was getting out a roll and some roast beef from the fridge, I heard a clattering sound and a noise that sounded like a person's voice upstairs. The only person that could be in the house due to the lack of cars in the driveway was Jeremy, but he had said he was going to the grill to meet up with friends.

"Jer!" I called out timidly, waiting for a response. Nothing.

My heart picked up speed for the second time that day, but this time it was from fear rather than anxiety. I felt nauseous as I grabbed a knife from the drawer and made my way upstairs. After everything that had happened recently, I don't know where this strength and courage was coming from. Maybe it was simply stupidity.

Everything in me was so focused and tense that I could feel the sweat dripping down my neck followed by the hairs on my body standing up. It was eerily quiet now save for the light creaking of my feet on the stairs. Another bang coming from Jeremy's room made me jump and almost fall down the stairs, but I kept my composure and reached his door.

Taking one last deep breath I shakily gripped the knob and opened the door, the knife in my other hand ready to stab whoever was on the other side. I saw the shapes of two bodies on either side of Jeremy's bed and screamed before I could make out who it was, nearly catching one of them with my knife. The two screamed and I finally made out who they were. Bonnie and Jeremy. Each of them half-naked.

"Ohmygod, Elena," Bonnie gasped sorrowfully, "I am so so sorry Elena, I should've told you but I just didn't know how…" she trailed off. I couldn't find words.

"Elena…" Jeremy started, but I held up a shaky hand to stop him and slowly turned away from them.

"Elena wait," Bonnie yelled after me, but I just ran down the stairs, set the knife on the kitchen island, and left the house without thinking. I couldn't believe that they would keep their relationship a secret from me. My best friend and my brother both lying to me for god knows how long. I felt betrayed and disappointed, because if they had told me earlier I would've been happy for them. I felt fresh tears on my face, Bonnie had never kept anything from me; we had been like sisters since I could remember.

"Elena," I heard my name being called by the one person I really didn't want to see right now.

I turned to face him, tears rolling down my face, "What Damon?"

"What happened, are you okay?" he sounded genuinely concerned.

"Like you even care?" I shouted, I was ready to unleash all of my anger on him. "What are you even doing here anyway, don't you own a house? And what do you need from us, what could you possibly want from a family who just lost everything? Are you really willing to hurt one of the only family members I have left just for the fun of it? You know something Damon, you disgust me. I barely know you but from what I've gathered you are nothing but a narcissistic asshole who expects every woman to be at his beck and call. Why don't you just go take advantage of another girl and leave Jenna out of it, and me too for that matter." He was utterly speechless for the first time since I met him. I guess he wasn't used to being put in his place and at this point I had nothing to lose. I simply walked to my car and pulled out of the driveway, ready to get to Caroline's where I would tell her everything. Hopefully, I would forget this whole situation for a night at the party and deal with it tomorrow.

Bonnie never showed up at Caroline's. By the time I told her everything, except for the Damon part, and she calmed me down, we were already off schedule. We hurriedly got ready together and I was quickly cooling off and ready to have some fun. Caroline was wearing a casual blue dress and nude pumps, a true Caroline Forbes choice for a party in the woods. She put her hair up into a messy, effortless bun with some blonde waves framing her face. She looked great and wore light, summery makeup to match her girly look.

She had taken the liberty of turning me into a sex bomb, something I was surprisingly okay with. My hair was straight tonight and I wore more makeup than usual with a smoky eye, heavy mascara, and deep, blood-red lips. I was in a sleeveless black lace top and wore black skinny jeans to match. I also had on black pumps that she forced me into, saying it was a necessary touch to complete the outfit. You should never fight with Caroline when she has pumps in her hands, I learned that the hard way years ago.

Caroline's solution to life's problems was sex, and as she so eloquently put it, if she couldn't have any tonight I needed to make up for it by having enough for the both of us. "Matt is going to lose his shit when he sees you tonight 'Lena," she said giggling. I cracked a smile as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I did not look like myself and I welcomed the escape. Goodbye Elena Gilbert, hello whoever I wanted to be for the night.

Once we were done with our finishing touches, we left her house. She told me that she would drive and I could pick up my car in the morning in case I got lucky or too drunk to drive. She told me that she would stay over Tyler's if she got too drunk to drive, like most of his closer friends did since his house was right there.

The minute we stepped out of Caroline's car all eyes were on us. I gave everyone my man eating smile and quickly found Matt, whose eyes bugged out of his head when he saw me. "Wow Elena you look gorgeous," he said. Not exactly what I'd been going for but I'd take it. No longer did I feel tired or stressed I just wanted to get as drunk as possible as fast as possible. And that's exactly what I did.

When people told me to slow down I did the opposite. I took vodka shots, drank some beer, did a few keggers, and stole Matt's drinks a few times. I hadn't had this much fun since my parents died and it was refreshing for a little while.

Half-way through the night I began to feel dizzy and really, really happy. I laughed at everything Caroline said and couldn't keep my hands off of Matt. We went further into the woods and I pushed him against a tree and began to attack him with my mouth.

"Whoa, whoa Elena slow down," Matt kept saying, but I didn't listen. Suddenly, lost in kissing Matt I had somehow began to picture Damon. His ocean blue eyes, smirking lips, and raven hair. _Making out with Damon is so much fun_ , I thought and started laughing against Dam…Matt's mouth.

"Why am I thinking about you?" I whispered to myself, utterly confused.

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked against my lips.

"Jenna's going to get sooooo mad at me…whoops," I said like a five year old, laughing my ass off.

"Okay, I think it's time to get you home," Matt said, chuckling a bit. "Why would Jenna get mad at you anyways, it's not like she hasn't gotten this drunk before."

"Because silly, I'm in love with her boyfriend!" I said, now completely out of it and unaware of anything I was saying.

"What?" Matt looked pissed.

"What?" I asked, forgetting what I had said.

"You just said you were in love with Jenna's older boyfriend…" Matt trailed off. "I think you're just really drunk Elena, I mean you barely know him."

"What so you're saying that just because I've known you my entire life I have to be in love with you?" I asked.

"What are you talking about? Of course you are and I love you too. We are going to go to college together and everything, now come on let's go," Matt reached for me arm but I yanked it away.

"I never agreed to any of that Matt," I said, a bit angry and a lot drunk.

"You don't know what you're talking about Elena, let's just go home and we can discuss this tomorrow when you're sober and thinking clearly," Matt tried, but I wasn't having it.

"You go, I need to be alone right now I can't deal with this, with you," I said.

"Can't deal with me? You're the one acting like a child," he said heatedly.

"Whatever Matt just let me go, okay?" I reasoned.

"Fine, whatever Elena at least let me go get Caroline," he said in annoyance, letting go of my arm.

I waited for what felt like hours but what was probably just minutes and figured I was done waiting. I went deeper into the woods until I met a dead end road. I fumbled with my purse for a few minutes and finally attempted to call Jenna, or anybody who could drive me home at this point. Whoever my thumb landed on was my savior.

"Hello?" A voice mumbled groggily on the other end of the line.

"Hello smexy," I said and giggled.

"Elena?" Damon's voice asked confused.

"You know you're a real predator, putting your number into a minor's phone without telling them, but guess what?" I said saucily.

"Elena I don't have time for this, why did you call," Damon sounded agitated but I didn't have the time to care.

"I won't tell if you won't" I said flirtatiously.

"Won't tell about what, Elena what is wrong with you you sound funny. Are you…are you drunk?" Damon sounded amused now.

"Maybe," I said childishly, "Wanna find out?"

"Where are you? I'm coming to get you," he sounded too serious.

"Why are you being such a grump? Don't you like me?" I asked.

"A little too much for my own good, just tell me where you are," he demanded.

"Ummmm," I paused for a long while and I heard him chuckle, "hey, don't laugh at me mister, I can't wait to see you drunk so I can make fun of you," I heard him say something like it may be sooner than you think but I couldn't really make too much out. "I think that I'm on the dead end next to the falls…" I trail off trying to think as hard as I can and laughing when I fail.

"Like I'm supposed to know where tha-" I hung up on him started laughing so hard I began to cry.

About twenty minutes later, I was on my fiftieth try counting all of the stars in the sky and only getting to five. I saw headlights and squealed as Damon pulled up in his Camaro. "My knight in a shining Camaro!" I yelled indignantly. He smiled adorably at my false rendering of the expression and it was the first time I had seen him truly and fully smile. "I know you know this already, but you're quite beautiful," I say with a goofy smile on my face.

"I don't know if you know this," he starts and then sees my outfit, makeup, and hair and pauses.

"Hey I didn't pause in your compliment!" I shouted in his face.

"You are impossibly sexy," he purrs as he gets out of his car and stands before me.

"Well, thank you," I say timidly, a blush creeping up my face. "I already knew that too," I continued nervously.

"I'm sure you did," he says getting even closer to me.

"Hey, you're taking advantage of my drunkenness, I'm not even supposed to be talking to you," I try to lighten the mood but it didn't work.

"If I were taking advantage of your drunkenness you wouldn't know it," he whispered huskily.

"True, but we also have a huge age difference, isn't that going to stop you?" I spoke lower and lower as he got closer and closer.

"Is it going to stop you?" he asks in return. The silence between us is deafening, all I can hear is the rush of blood in my ears as my heart began to leap out of my chest. Before I could answer he pulled me roughly against him into the most intense kiss I had ever experienced. My stomach flipped thousands of times and I smiled against his lips as our tongues battled. I nipped his bottom lip and he dragged his tongue across mine.

All I could think, see, touch, and feel was Damon, he was all consuming and I loved being drowned in him. We pulled away from each other for a few deep breaths, and our eyes met and got lost as one. Just as our lips met again it began to rain and I reveled in the feeling of no cares, no controls, just him and the rain. I could get lost in the rain with him forever. "As much as I want to do this with you right now…" Damon trailed off. Somehow I knew what he was going to say before he said it. The timing was wrong. The situation was wrong. If we were going to be right I needed to be less drunk and there needed to be less chilling rain. Our eyes locked and an understanding passed between us. The connection I felt with him in this moment chilled me to the core and a lazy smile graced my face and his. "You're beautiful Elena," my name rolled off his tongue perfectly. He put his leather jacket over me to keep me warm and he put his roof up in his car. We drove home and he walked me to the door, drugged me with one last kiss and then darkness engulfed me.

DPOV

She actually passed out this time. I saw her eyes roll to the back of her head and checked to see if she was breathing and she was. I knew she would feel like shit tomorrow, but had to make sure she got at least some rest tonight. I picked her limp form up into my arms and stealthily took her upstairs. I took her heels off before putting her under the covers. I admired her peaceful features, knowing for a fact that I had never seen a creature as effortlessly beautiful and enchanting as her. We had crossed a line that we could not come back from tonight, but she was worth it. Elena Gilbert. I haven't gotten tired of the name yet, and feared I would never want to. I watched her sleep for a while before succumbing to it myself. I dreamt of deep, brown eyes, a raspy voice, and smiling, blood-red lips.


	4. Closer to Love

Hi everyone! Thanks again to all of you who followed, favorited, and reviewed! I read them all and appreciate every single one. As promised, I updated as quickly as I could. Again, any spelling/grammatical errors please let me know-I want this to be perfect for you all. Just as a warning this chapter is pretty heavy. Please let me know what you think!

I own nothing.

 **Chapter 4: Closer to Love**

" _Oh it's your life  
Oh it's your way  
Pull me out of the dark  
Just to show me the way  
Cryin out now  
From so far away  
You pull me closer to love  
Closer to love"_

 _-Matt Kearney_

EPOV

The first thing I felt was warmth. It wasn't oppressive or barely there, it was perfection. It felt so right and for a minute I felt my lips turn up into a smile and a contented sigh leave my lips. I don't even remember the last time I felt this kind of happiness. I tried to let the world slip away until I felt my head begin to pound. _That's odd, why is my head throbbing so badly? I must be getting sick,_ I thought. I snuggled back into… _wait a second that's not right…_ a pair of incredibly strong and firm, yet comfortable arms were wrapped around my tiny body. _What the…_ and then I remembered. It all came flooding back at once, which made my head hurt even worse. I heard the sexiest groan pass _his_ lips up against my ear and I began to tingle all over. _What have I done_? _So much for getting rid of him…wait what is he even doing in my bed? We didn't….ohmygod!_ I leapt out of my bed and the groan he let out this time was an aggravated and shocked one.

"Elena! What the hell?" Damon nearly shouted.

"Shut up! Jenna will hear you, or did you forget that _your_ girlfriend is in the room down the hall?" I whispered harshly. "Damon, as much as I…" _how should I describe my night exactly?_ "As much as I enjoyed our night last night, please don't tell me we…" I trailed off, too ashamed to ask.

"Don't tell you we what Elena?" he said with a tiny smirk on his face. He was trying to keep his face serious as he forced me to say it.

"Did we have sex last night?" I asked him in all seriousness, I was over the games for right now.

"Trust me Elena," he drawled out my name, elongating it in a way that made me grin, "if we had sex last night, you wouldn't forget it, no matter how blackout drunk you were." I was about to respond with a smart ass comment as I blushed at his brashness when Jenna jolted us out of our banter.

"Elena! Wake up remember we have to go shopping for Damon's birthday!" she yelled up to me from downstairs.

"Almost ready, give me fifteen minutes!" I yelled back anxiously. We both gave each other a guilty look before I spoke, "I forgot your birthday is in a few days, we are six days apart." That fact returned my smile.

"Six days and about thirteen years," he said back in a grave tone. He was turning thirty tomorrow and I had just recently turned seventeen. The age difference wouldn't be such a big deal if I was say twenty one and he was thirty four. My parents had been eight years apart and I have known other couples with an even bigger age difference than thirteen years, but because I was seventeen Damon could get in a lot of trouble if we became more involved. We hadn't really had any serious conversations about anything yet.

I tried to lighten the mood, "So birthday boy, what special treat would you like?" I tried to use the sexiest voice I could muster and I could see the muscles in his jaw clench.

"Well, I do love a good red velvet cake, but you know what I would love even more…" his voice kept getting lower and deeper.

"What is that?" I asked huskily.

"A brunette on top…" he finished. I started laughing and could not stop, tears were falling out of my eyes. He gave a few chuckles in response to my antics that were probably due more to sleep deprivation than his corny request. Once I stopped laughing it got quiet between us.

"Look, Damon-" he cut me off before I could finish.

"Let's not ruin the moment, Elena. We can talk later, right now just get ready and leave with Jenna so I can sneak out," Damon had a more serious air about him then, and I knew not to push him.

"Okay yeah you're right," I said in a forced light tone. There was an awkward silence and I started to feel the weight of last night on my shoulders, head, heart, really everywhere. I put my hand on my head and closed my eyes for a second to ease the pain and felt Damon's hand on my shoulder turning me around to face him.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Oh yeah I'm fine just an awful headache from hangover land, nothing I haven't dealt with before," I said with a nervous, breathy laugh. We were closer now and I lifted my eyes up to see his crystal orbs burning into mine, sending electric shocks down my spine. Our breathing picked up slightly and just as we moved in, our lips barely touching, Jenna knocked on the door. We each jumped and broke away from one another at lightening speed. "Uh Jenna! Don't come in, I'm umm, still getting dressed I'll be out in a second I promise!" I fumbled with my words.

"Okay come on Elena I really want to get to the mall at opening so it isn't as crowded," she said in annoyance. I heard her walk down the stairs and finally looked up at Damon again.

"I have to start getting ready," I whispered disappointedly. He gave a slight nod and sat on the edge of my bed as I quickly picked out an outfit, brushed my teeth, pulled my hair into a messy bun, and put on a little makeup after removing the heavy makeup from last night. I heard him laugh slightly. "What?" I said back to him with a playful grin.

"I don't even know why you use that stuff," he said flippantly.

"What do you mean? Have you seen me lately, pretty tired and hungover, in desperate need of at least a little foundation and concealer," I explained in a girly way.

"No amount of makeup, hair products, accessories or anything else could make any girl as beautiful as you. You wear nothing and you are heads and tails above them all and when you do it just isn't fair," he tried to sound nonchalant but what he said made me feel like kissing him, so I did. I walked over to him on the edge of my bed and gave him a gentle, quick kiss that left him a little shocked looking. I guess he was used to women mauling him and not taking the time to be endearing every now and then. "What was that for?" he asked against my parted lips.

"Everything," I answered vaguely. Before things got too heated I gripped his strong shoulders and moved him off my bed. I turned him around so I could change quickly. "No peeking Damon, I mean it," I warned him sternly. I was no prude but there was no way he was seeing me naked already, that wasn't me, well that wasn't sober me. After I finished changing I noticed that his hands were in my underwear drawer. "Damon!" I yelled, smacking his hands away from my red, lacy thong.

"Can this be my birthday present?" he asked with puppy dog eyes, pushing his lips out like a 5 year old. I rolled me eyes and shut my drawer.

"You need to make sure Jeremy doesn't see you on your way out," I said seriously.

"I'm not too worried, it'll be fine just go before Jenna gets suspicious about you talking to yourself," he quipped.

"Okay smart ass I'm going," I said, laughing. As I turned around he smacked my ass and I jumped and turned around, "Hey!" He had his hands up acting innocent and I gave him one final eye roll before walking out of my room. What a crazy twenty-four hours. If you had said to me that I, Elena Gilbert, would go from fighting with Damon to letting him smack my ass I would've called BS, but it was really happening. Before I let myself think too much about it, I left the house with Jenna for a shopping trip in honor of the narcissistic asshole who had stolen my heart in a matter of days.

Then I saw it, Damon's car parked in the street right in front of the house. "What is Damon's car doing here, he didn't stay the night last night…" Jenna trailed off confused and I swallowed the vomit that rose at the thought of her and him having sex, the hangover didn't help the situation. "Elena, are you okay?" Jenna asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Look there's something you should know…" I started, but Damon came out of the house to cut me off.

"I took Elena home last night after her and Matt had a fight. I was tired since the party went on so late and just crashed on the couch in the basement," Damon explained effortlessly. His ability to lie so well made me uneasy.

"How sweet of you!" Jenna exclaimed, walking up to him for an awkward peck on the lips, similar to what I had just done only minutes ago. Although Jenna found nothing out of place about it, I saw Damon's discomfort almost immediately and looked away. I didn't know what to do, this all had happened so fast. The real issue was, I was falling for a man I had only met a few days ago harder than I had for Matt who I had known my entire life. He was also Jenna's boyfriend who she liked very much, and if she ever found out she would never forgive me. As much as I was falling for him, I could not do that to her.

Damon was now looking at my grim expression with a confused face. The fact that he was not feeling the same guilt I was bothered me and I simply looked away from him and walked to the car with Jenna. I knew that I was being hot and cold with him, but I had officially made up my mind and it could not change. Whatever _this_ was could not go on for Jenna's sake, the only family besides my brother that I had left. I felt a single tear fall from my tired eyes, wiped it away, and focused on forgetting the only man who had ever made my heart race.

It had been two weeks since I last saw Damon and I had gone back to being the sad girl who lost her parents. I was better than I had been, but not as good I was before he came into my life. I was somewhere in the middle, trapped and in desperate need of an escape. The only good thing that had happened in these past weeks was me and Bonnie's talk and makeup. We had never really gotten into fights, and I knew this one wouldn't last long. She was my sister and as much as what she did hurt me, her apology and her true happiness with Jeremy made up for it. Jeremy was even different, he wasn't doing drugs anymore and was finally happy after being depressed for so long. I was grateful to Bonnie for his happiness.

Caroline had been begging me to join her and Bonnie for a girl's night out, they recognized my desperate need for one even though I wouldn't tell them why. I finally agreed and thought we should get out of town for a night away from Matt and Damon. We decided on a club that was only ten minutes outside of Mystic Falls and were going with our fake ID's.

As usual, we got dressed together and each of us looked great. I had on a ridiculously tight, dark red, strapless dress with black pumps. Caroline curled me hair and did my makeup, giving me long lashes and deep red lips that matched my dress. I was ready for a crazy night out with my best friends. Once we got in the club I found it easy to let go of my stresses, mostly due to the massive amounts of alcohol Caroline kept pouring down my throat. Bonnie had decided to stay sober tonight to look after us, since she was so happy with Jeremy she didn't even want to drink tonight. She had fun a lot easier than me and Caroline, we each had our own struggles weighing us down, I could sense it because her eyes had less sparkle in them than usual.

I knew alcohol and crazy partying was not exactly the best outlet for my pain, but honestly, nothing else was working. I had been going on two runs a day, I wrote in my journal constantly, and I even finished all of my summer assignments to distract me, but it was all no use. If it took this one night of irresponsibility to bring me closer to my old, fun self than I would use it. With that I took another shot of vodka and felt my entire world spin, "Wooohooo!" I yelled as I beat the whole bar again, finishing my drink the fastest. Caroline laughed so hard that she almost choked on her liquor. "Oh come on Forbes, I know you can handle your liquor better than that, what a disappointment!" I joked with her.

"Sorry 'Lena, I can't unhinge my jaw like a fish like you can, you truly have a gift," she said jokingly.

"Or a curse," I said under my breath, chuckling a bit. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom really fast, wanna come?" I asked her and Bonnie, but they shook their heads. I made my way to the bathroom and there was surprisingly no line. "My lucky night," I said to myself as I entered the bathroom.

"I can make it even luckier," I heard a male voice from behind me. I jumped in surprise and stepped back from the man in the bathroom with little coordination.

"As if," I said to him in annoyance, trying to shove past him to get out of the bathroom as fast as I could. I had an uneasy feeling about this, but my brain and my body couldn't keep up with one another. I had drank too much to get out of this situation safely and I knew it before he even laid his hands on me. He grabbed me as I tried to get past him and I started to scream, but the music outside was blaring too loud for anyone to hear. No one was in the bathroom and I was starting to think that this man had something to do with that.

I only wish Bonnie and Caroline had come with me, altogether we probably could've taken him. But that wasn't the case. There was no way a girl of my weight and height could take this guy on and my stomach wrenched at the thought. Dragging me away from my somber thoughts, he pinned me down onto the cold tiles of the club's bathroom and I tried to fight him with everything that I had as he whispered, "Don't worry, you're gonna like this a lot."

Tears began to fall from my eyes as I registered the seriousness of the situation I was now in, "Get off of me! Please someone help me!" I kept repeatedly screaming those two phrases to no avail. He ripped the top part of my dress down the middle and began groping my boobs through my bra. I was hyperventilating at this point, trying anything to get him off of me and then realized that I had my phone in my purse. It was just to the left of my body and I knew that if I got the chance, I could call for help.

His strong body was pinning mine down, but his hands were now moving down my body, freeing my hands. I had only seconds to find my phone out of my bag before this got even uglier. As my hand stealthily found my phone in my bag I let out a small breath of relief that was cut short at the feeling of his hands on my underwear. I jumped at the touch of his hands on me and looked for the one number I knew I could count on. Damon's. Bonnie's and Caroline's ringtones wouldn't be heard over the music and I hadn't even been in the bathroom long enough for them to suspect that I was in trouble. I tilted my head slightly and the man was too distracted to even notice that I had taken out my phone. I finally found Damon's contact and shut my eyes, praying he would pick up. He did.

I faintly heard his voice answering hello and knew I had only seconds to convey the situation without saying too much to be obvious. I repeated the same two phrases as loudly as I possibly could, throwing in the club's name, hopefully the man would chalk it up to my drunkenness. Damon had not hung up, which I took to be a good sign. The club was ten minutes out of town and I needed to hang on until then.

I finally focused my attention back on the man and tried to pry his hands off of me. He took his hands away from me in order to grab both of my hands in one of his while using the other to slap me hard across the face. I screeched and began to cry more, repeating the phrases incoherently now. It felt like hours of me trying to fight him off and losing, my whole dress was now in shambles and just as he was about to unclasp my bra a loud bang shot through the bathroom. "Damon?" I called out in a weak groan. All I heard was shouting and punching, I didn't have enough strength to pick my body up off the ground.

After a few minutes of laying on the ground of the bathroom floor, I felt hands grip me again and flinched, shaking my head and groaning. "Please, stop, please," I whispered.

"Hey, hey Elena, look at me. Look at me Elena," I saw Damon's fiery blue eyes piercing into my own, "I'm going to get you out of here, okay?" I nodded weakly and allowed him to pick up my sore body into his arms and walk out of the club. On the way I saw the man on the floor of the bathroom in a bloodied pulp, but was too numb to feel anything. Damon told me to wait by the entrance for a few seconds while he told Caroline and Bonnie that he was taking me home because I didn't feel well. He was back faster than I expected and he lifted me back into his arms and walked to his car. He was eerily silent. As he set me into the passenger seat of his car he began examining my injuries and I looked away, a feeling of shame and embarrassment washing over me. As if reading my mind he placed his thumb under my bottom lip, forcing me to look into his eyes. His gaze conveyed reassurance and something I had never seen before. I tried to think about what else was there, but my head kept aching so bad that my ears rung.

The whole experience was a blur yet I remembered every gruesome detail. Damon said something about the hospital and I begged him not to take me, I could not let anyone see me like this. "Elena you have to go, I can't help you all by myself, I wish I could," Damon pleaded with me. "I think you may have a concussion and possibly some broken rips, you're wounds are too deep and need stitches, Elena please, for me. I need you to be okay," he said this with a voice of…fear? I wasn't sure, but I was sure that I didn't have the strength to fight him on this.

"Okay," I said just above a whisper.

DPOV

I was angrier than I had ever been in my entire life. I was also more scared than I had ever been in my entire life. You don't ever truly know how important a person is to you until their life is hanging in the balance. I had realized this in a matter of minutes. My sweet, strong, fiery, passionate, incredible light, Elena being snuffed out over the phone by some scumbag, lowlife, piece of shit was one of the hardest moments of my life. When I got there, when I saw what he had done to her I saw red. The next thing I knew the bastard was on the ground, barely breathing, if at all. He was in a bloodied mess with only my hands red with blood, mostly his, from punching the life out of him. After dealing with him I ran over to Elena who was also barely breathing. She was an absolute mess, but it didn't matter. In that moment, all of her beauty was in her strength and courage.

Her hair was a wreck, some of it ripped out on the floor around her. Her skin was torn up and bleeding, the bathroom tiles around her stained with blood. She had a welt on her cheek from being hit and as I looked closer the back of her head was bleeding from being slammed into the ground too many times. When I went to pick her up she flinched and not just out of terror but out of pain as I touched her ribs. Her dress was in shambles and her bra straps were torn off, her underwear was the only thing in tact thank God. I couldn't believe that she was still conscious, but was glad, especially since she most definitely had a concussion.

After begging her to go to the hospital, she finally, weakly, agreed and I sped there as fast as my Camaro would go. All the ER nurses had to do was look at her before bringing a stretcher and taking her back with them before I could even say goodbye. I was asked many questions by hospital staff and police but waited until Jenna got there to explain what happened. All I could do now was wait, hope, and pray that she was okay.

I knew right then how much control she had over me, because if she didn't make it out of this I didn't think I would either. I still knew that whatever relationship we had had was doomed. I still knew that we had only known each other for a short while. The difference was this: When I picked her up into my arms – the girl who had survived everything life threw her way, the girl who had lost so much, the girl still conscious and breathing after what had just happened to her – I knew she was the one for me. She was never a victim, not even in this moment, she was a true survivor. I knew in that moment, as her tear stained faced looked up at mine, her hair disheveled, her body crumpled into my arms, that I was in love her. She wasn't perfect in that moment, not in the slightest, but she was perfect for me. I, Damon Salvatore, the man who vowed to never love, was in love with this girl. Elena Gilbert. I needed her to survive one more time.


	5. Holding On and Letting Go

I know you must all hate me, I even hate me for making you wait this long. I am so sorry, just had a lot on my plate recently. I hope you are all enjoying your summer, I made this chapter long for all of you and will update shortly I promise! Things are heating up…

I own nothing.

 **Chapter 5: Holding On and Letting Go**

 _Sometimes we're holding angels_

 _And we never even know_

 _Don't know if we'll make it_

 _But we know, we just can't let it show_

 _It's everything you wanted_

 _It's everything you don't_

 _It's one door swinging open_

 _And one door swinging closed_

 _Some prayers find an answer_

 _Some prayers never know_

 _We're holding on and letting go_

 _-Ross Copperman_

EPOV

It had been two months since the "accident" and all of my wounds had pretty much healed. My ribs didn't hurt when I took a breath anymore, my concussion was gone, the only evidence of that night, physically speaking, was a small scar by my right shoulder. Everyone in town thought that I had simply taken a rough fall in my high heels that night having too much fun with Caroline and Bonnie, no one knew the truth except for Damon. And I was glad.

The shame from that night had passed for the most part, but I was dealing with it on my own. Worrying Jenna and Jeremy would've made me feel guilty after all that they went through with my parents. I tried to keep telling myself that all was well that ended well, but the images of the man attempting to force himself on me never left my mind, and haunted me at night. I hadn't gotten any sleep these passed two months and had eaten even less. The dark circles under my eyes and my frail form were enough proof of that. No matter what anyone said or did, no one knew what had actually happened that night, so no one could truly help me. No one, except for Damon.

Too bad that the night of my "accident" another one had occurred with Damon's brother Stefan. He had gotten into a car accident that he had barely recovered from and these passed two months, Damon was by his side. Their bond was inseparable from what I heard from Jenna and I couldn't blame him for being his support system. But now that everything was settled with Stefan, Damon was making his return to town tonight and I was more nervous than I thought I'd be. All I had been thinking about was the distance that I had tried to put between us before he had saved my life. The distance that could've been my demise. I didn't know what to think or how to feel when it came to Damon. Yes, I was thankful that he had been there for me when I needed him, but was that all it was? Gratitude? And even if there was more, how could I do that to Jenna?

Bonnie and Caroline had been desperately trying to force me out of the house since that night, and today was the perfect day for a distraction. I would try and have fun again, especially since my injuries were healed. I had to at least try and pick up where I had left off before the attack. Matt's birthday was tonight and I figured I would try and relieve the pressure of seeing Damon the first night he came back by going with my best friends to his party at The Grill.

I knew now what me and Matt always were and always should've been: friends. Now it was time to show him that we could be. Bonnie, Caroline, and I had all pooled together enough money to make the necessary repairs on his truck and couldn't wait to see his face when he opened our card. It had pictures of all of us throughout the years and was absolutely perfect. He would love it. Vicki even helped us with it, which was pretty surprising considering she didn't like me very much. But, I was glad she did and Matt will be too.

It was about two hours until his party and us girls got together as always to gossip, snack, and get ready for the big bash. Caroline had already assembled our outfits, as usual, but this time I had something for her too. She had been dying to get the new Naked eye shadow palette for months, and while shopping around with Jenna this week I had found it and bought it for her. When I handed her the bag she looked confused, yet excited, she loved gifts.

"'Lena what's this? I should've been the one to get you something since you've been so down in the dumps lately…" she trailed off to keep the mood light and squealed when she saw what it was. Now was the ultimate test, she grabbed me into a true Caroline Forbes hug and my ribs didn't hurt one bit. Fantastic. I hugged her back as much as I could and then she released me so I didn't suffocate. We both laughed and then she opened it and couldn't resist using it on us first to see how she liked it. Forget journalism, she should've been a stylist. The way she handled makeup, hair, and outfits was unparalleled. Even on my worst day she could make me look like a goddess.

Since it was still hot in Virginia, I was in a light peach colored sun dress with tan wedges. My hair was styled in my natural, smooth waves and I had impeccable makeup. Gold shimmery eyelids, flawless thick eyeliner, and long lashes with a light pink gloss to top it off. I looked perfect and my friends did as well, but we all knew that I still wasn't the same as I had been before. You could see it in my eyes; they didn't sparkle like they used to. Plus, I was a lot thinner and there was only so much concealer could do for my black under eyes.

Before we knew it we were strutting into The Grill, giving Matt a big group hug and collectively leaving him gasping for air. The nigh went on with little drama and we were actually getting along great. We talked, laughed, and even smiled at one another genuinely, with no remorse or longing. Matt and I were much better friends and I think he was beginning to see that tonight. If anything, it was Caroline who was getting the longing looks from him. I felt relief, knowing that he would treat her right and that she would be happy with him.

All was right in the world at this moment: Bonnie and Jeremy were making out in the corner which surprisingly did not disgust me, Caroline and Matt were giggling while playing pool, Tyler was hitting on three girls at once, and I was feeling happy for the first time in two months. And then suddenly, the air was knocked out of me when _he_ walked in, up to the bar across from me without seeing me yet. _Should I run for it?_ I was seriously considering it and then I felt his stare and forced myself to keep looking away. One look into those lapis lazuli eyes and I was done for. I knew it and he knew it. I could almost sense his small smirk daring me to walk away, but I kept seated at the bar and thankfully Tyler came to my side.

"Hey brown eyes," he said flirtatiously, and I allowed it considering he was keeping me away from my weakness.

"Hey Tyler, having fun?" I asked with a gentle smile.

"A lot more than your having I couldn't help but notice," he joked with a grin.

"Well, if you have any suggestions I'm all ears," I say honestly, I needed to have a little fun. I was safe here in The Grill with all of my friends and my brother. And now that Damon was here I felt like I could loosen up a bit, although he made me feel anxious he also made me feel really safe.

"Shots," was all Tyler said in response as he snapped his fingers to the bartender. He used to be our quarterback and was now in college, and he also happened to still be close with Matt and Tyler. He was the one allowing all of this underage drinking tonight.

"I don't know Tyler, I haven't drank in like two months…" I trailed off, images of that night flooding into my vision. I felt my whole body stiffen and my cheeks flush.

"Hey, you okay? We don't have to if you don't…" Tyler began to say, but I would not let my fear control me and interrupted him by taking one of the glasses and doing my first shot since that night. "Okay then," he said amusedly, "Care for duel?" He asked with an adorable smile.

"Oh it is so on," I laughed back to him. We had been competing on and off for years to see who was left standing at the end of the night and I had to make sure it was me tonight. Old Elena here I come. I chanced a glance up at Damon and saw his jaw clench and his eyes never left my face; he was concerned. I don't know why, but when I saw this I rose a brow back, almost challenging him to do something about it. He just stayed where he was and watched.

And so we began. Shot after shot we gained more of an audience. We couldn't stop laughing between drinks as people cheered for us, even separating into sides and placing bets. By the end of the night, as Tyler stumbled back and landed on his ass, I was victorious. When he got back up he scooped me up like we were in the frickin' _Titanic_ and I pronounced myself shot queen. He let me down as gently as he drunkenly could and then I fell on my ass. Almost. As I was about to topple over a pair of familiar, strong arms gripped my hips to keep me up.

"Wouldn't want you to lose your title 'shot queen'," Damon drawled out hotly against my ear. He sounded…different.

"Are you drunk?" I giggled at him in response and saw him squint his blue eyes cutely while motioning with his fingers that he may be a "little" drunk.

"Not as drunk as you are, how many shots did you have exactly?" He asked.

"Ummm…" I lifted my wide eyes up at the ceiling, feigning deep thought while biting my lip slightly. I heard a low chuckle and then we locked eyes. All joking was forgotten as he raised his hands and gently touched his thumb to where I was biting my lip. I took a deep breath and saw his eyes wander to where my collarbone rose, jutting out more than usual due to my lack of eating. Sincerity filled his eyes as his fingers trailed lightly on the bone, setting a trail of fire that caused goosebumps on my olive skin. His icy blue eyes melted into my chocolate ones and just as I was getting lost in the moment Caroline's high pitched yell dragged me back to reality.

"Elena! Elena! Where are you? Me and Bonnie wanna go Jeremy is taking us home," I heard her scream.

I tore away from Damon abruptly, "I have to go," I whispered. I knew he heard me.

As I was turning away from him I felt his hand gently grip my forearm, spinning me around so our faces were inches apart. His eyes searched mine, for what I didn't know, and then he whispered against my lips, "How are you…really?" I didn't know how to answer that question, and as Caroline's screams grew closer I knew she was just about to find us.

I looked into his eyes once more before dragging my gaze away and telling him that I was fine, even if he didn't believe it he let me go. I could feel his gaze on me the entire time I exited the Grille, but I didn't turn back once. I was ready to get home, I had had enough fun for one night. Enough fun to convince everyone that I was getting back to the old me.

The next morning I work up to massive headache and decided to stay in most of the day. I tried to eat more and failed, but at least I had gotten more sleep last night then all the sleep I had gotten in the past couple of months combined. Me and Jenna were in the middle of a _One Tree Hill_ marathon when the doorbell rang, I wondered if it was the pizza guy and turned around to check and saw Damon and Jenna talking. Damon probably thought I was out with Bonnie and Caroline and didn't even check who was inside when he walked in and hugged her. I kept staring despite myself, never really watching how the two interacted before. It looked comfortable and easy to me, and honestly quite boring. I couldn't see Damon as the kind of guy who enjoyed that in a relationship, but whatever.

I was about to turn away when he saw me staring. I immediately flushed because I looked awful today and turned around before he could see. I had my hair up in a messy bun and had no makeup on. The bags under my eyes were on full display and my weak looking form was as well considering I only had on a strappy tank and loose fitting sweats. I didn't want to see his eyes full of concern or pity so I quickly turned back to the show to let them have their privacy. Before I could say no, I felt the cushion beside me on the couch sink and knew it was him.

"You don't look fine," he picked up our conversation from last night.

"Thank you, that's what every girl wants to hear, I thought you were Mr. Smooth…" I trailed off, pretending to watch the show. Peyton and Lucas were getting it on in a Motel and I was actually happy they were getting together, even if it was under her best friends nose. How horrible was that. I honestly, just thought they were perfect together.

"Do you wanna…I don't know, talk about it?" I could tell he was just as uncomfortable asking as I was hearing his question.

"No Damon I'd much rather watch mindless television than recount the night that I was almost-" I broke off. "It's done, I'm over it you should be too, where is Jenna anyway?"

"She's picking up the pizza you ordered since they can't get it here, not that you're going to eat it anyway," he said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said angrily.

"It just doesn't look like you've eaten or slept since that night is all, I'm not going to baby you Elena I'm worried about your health," he said sincerely.

"Well you don't have to be it's my problem," I said curtly, hoping he'd get the point, but he kept pushing.

"Why won't you just talk to me, you've obviously been bottling it up since it happened, I was there I know what happened," he was almost yelling now.

"You know nothing Damon, I mean how could you? You don't know what it's like to be powerless, to be at the mercy of some lowlife. You have no idea what it's like to nearly be forced into having sex with someone you would walk to the other side of the street to avoid. I've felt nauseous at the sight, smell, and thought of food, and every time the lights go out at night my mind always goes back to that night," tears filled my eyes , my breathing was erratic and I couldn't believe I had just said all of that, but I continued.

"And you just left. The only person who could've helped me, and I can't even blame you or be mad at you because you had to leave to be with your brother. I don't want to feel like a victim anymore. I want to be a survivor and I don't know how Damon, I just don't know how. I need to stop feeling all of these emotions I can't take it anymore and I'm afraid that one day I'll just stop feeling anything. I can already see it. My friends can see it. Jenna can see, even you can see it and you've only been back a short while. My light is gone, and I'm afraid I'll keep getting dimmer and dimmer until the darkness consumes me." It all pours out, everything I had been dealing with and he looks scared. I had never seen him look that scared. But just like that, once he knows that I saw his fear, he snaps out of it and grabs my shoulders, forcing my to look at him.

"You are the brightest thing I have ever seen. Even now, you are brighter than the sun I see every day, you're light is what makes you, you Elena. No matter what happens, it will always be there. Even in your darkest days you shine brighter than the rest of the world. I have been around a while and I can assure you this is true. I promise, I will never leave you again, but you are stronger than you think. You never let him win because you kept going even when every muscle and nerve in your body told you to stop. You're the strongest person I know and you are a survivor. I may not know or understand what you went through, but I know pain. How you deal with it is what defines you. And you should be proud because what I see isn't a shell of who you were, but a stronger version of who you were trying to adjust back into the life you had before. No darkness could ever consume you, because you are the very light that it cannot touch. I'll do whatever it is you need me to do Elena, no one's going to hurt you, especially not that lowlife who tried to take advantage of you, I took care of him remember?"

I cracked a small smile at that. "Thank you Damon, not just for this but for everything. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here," I whispered to him after collecting myself.

"Okay now let's stop with the mushy shall we?" he said, I could tell he wasn't one for heart to hearts like we had just had.

I laughed a real, Elena Gilbert laugh, and it felt good. I knew then that Damon was right, I was stronger than I gave myself credit for, and with his help I would be an even better version of myself than I was before. I had a toughness now that I was unfamiliar with, but knew that I could handle more than I ever could before. I needed to embrace this, I needed to be the survivor Damon saw, the survivor I knew I was. I had survived my parent's death, I could survive this too-one day at a time until it didn't hurt anymore.

I gave him a look that held my appreciation for all that he had done and gave him a small peck on the cheek. Then we looked away from each other and I turned the show back on, earning an unhappy groan from Damon.

"You know, all of those nice things I said about you are true. But you have awful taste in T.V. shows," he said. I gave him a light punch in the arm and we giggled. He threw his arm around me and I cuddled my small form against his side. "Ouch, you really are bony we gotta get some meat on those bones," he said jokingly.

"I know, I know….Tyler does like curvier women so I probably should do that," I joked back.

"Not funny," he whispered against my ear. I got a small wave of goosebumps and then he attacked. He squeezed my side and started tickling me.

"What the…" I started laughing hysterically. "Damon stop, Damon!" I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt. I shoved him off of me, throwing a pillow at his face, still laughing and noticed that his neck was very ticklish. "Aw, big bad Damon has a ticklish spot!" I pouted my lips and smiled up at him as he squirmed out of my reach with an amused expression.

"What's going on here?" Jenna said. I didn't know how long she had been there for.

"I think Elena's hunger is going to her head," Damon said with a goofy smile.

"Hey you started it not me!" I yelled back.

"Okay children dinner's here," Jenna said with a laugh and headed into the kitchen.

Once dinner had ended Damon went back with Jenna to her room and I tried to contain my disgust. I definitely had feelings for Damon and was no longer afraid of them. I wanted to go after what I wanted for a change and be a little selfish for once. I just didn't know if that was the best idea right now, I needed to focus on myself first.

I still got nightmares, but tonight's wasn't as bad as the usual ones. I still screamed but Jenna and Jeremy were such heavy sleepers that they never heard it. But I forgot about the other person staying the night.

I saw him open my door and come into my room. I only had on my t-shirt and underwear so I would just stay in bed to make things less awkward. I told him about my nightmares, but that this one wasn't as bad. He insisted on staying with me until I fell asleep, though.

"You better not be an Edward Cullen type, he was hot and everything but if someone watched me sleep I think I'd be a little weirded out," I joked.

"I think I'm more of an Eric Northman type, except not as tall," he joked back.

"Good to know," I responded coyly.

We talked about a lot of different things for a couple hours and then my eyes began to get droopy. The lack of sleep of two months was weighing on me and making me loopy. Somehow we got into types of people we were into and past relationships, a dangerous topic for us. "So what's your type lady killer," I giggled immaturely.

"I like brunettes," he answered vaguely.

"Vague much, isn't like ninety percent of the world brunettes? I wish I was a blonde," I laughed out loud, letting one of my secret desires fall out of my mouth.

"Fine, I'm into brunettes with big brown eyes, pouty lips, and olive skin," he said, challenging me. "What about you?"

I took a while, this was getting awkward. "Well, I've always liked Eric Northman," I laughed again, not taking this as seriously as he was.

"You should probably get some rest," he said in a whisper.

"Yeah, you're probably right, but what if I don't want to Mr. Northman?" I said with a smirk.

"Sookie has nothing on you," he said and turned to leave.

"Wait," I called out to him. I got up out of bed and saw his eyes travel down my half naked form. "Don't go, I…"

"You what Elena?"

"I want you," I said in a whisper, so low I didn't even recognize my own voice. "I know that it's wrong, but it feels right, Damon…" I begged him to meet my eyes,

"Elena if we do this I won't be able to stop, I won't turn back," he said in warning.

"I don't care…" I said as our eyes met.

 **To be continued…**


	6. Temptation

Thanks to everyone who reviewed you are all amazing and are my motivation! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Don't be too mad at the ending...I promise what you all have been waiting for is coming soon.

I own nothing.

 **Chapter 6: Temptation**

 _Up, down, turn around_

 _Please don't let me hit the ground_

 _Tonight I think I'll walk alone_

 _I'll find my soul as I go home_

 _Oh, I've never met anyone quite like you before_

 _-New Order_

DPOV

It had been a rough night, I was angry, frustrated even. I knew what I wanted, but I didn't know how to take it. Elena. She stirred things inside of me that had been dead for years, but I knew she would hate me once I confessed what I was up to. Instead of waking her and telling her, I simply watched her sleep. I stroked the back of my hand against her soft cheek as gently as I had ever touched anything. As my hand grazed her cheek for the final time, she stirred and I was gone. Her bedroom light shut off and she fell asleep.

EPOV

Our lips had barely touched when the sound of my door knob turning jolted us apart. Jenna had walked in looking for Damon, and he, looking very pained, went back with her. I felt humiliated. That would be the last time I put myself out there with him, if he wanted me he needed to show it. I felt a few salty tears run down my cheeks until I told myself that I had none left to give. I had been crying like this for months and was surprised my body could still manage to form tears after my parents' deaths, let alone after the incident at the club. Once I fought it out with my tear ducts, sleep claimed me.

I had always been a light sleeper, so when I felt Damon's hand grazing my cheek, I pretended to stay asleep. I always thought it would freak me out, but him watching me sleep and simply touching me in the gentlest way he could made my heart flutter in my chest. He had a side to him that I felt like only I had seen. When I couldn't take faking it anymore, I gently shifted in my sleep like I had just woken up. When I opened my eyes he was gone. I let out a sigh of relief, closed my journal, and shut off my light, falling asleep for the final time that night.

 _"Take me far, far away Mr. Salvatore," I giggled and looked up at him under my thick lashes._

 _"And where would you like me to take you Ms. Gilbert," he chuckled back, looking at me full of wonder._

 _"Anywhere but here…Paris, Rome, London, Sydney…" I continued listing and his eyes held something in them that I had only seen once or twice before. When he was with me._

 _"Just the two of us then, all over the world…it's ours for the taking," he said cheerfully. Then I recognized what those crystal eyes held: it was happiness. I had it too._

 _"I wouldn't want to go with anyone else," I whispered to him with a small smile. He smiled back at me, the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. He gently put his hand over mine, squeezing it tightly and whisking me away. "Last time I checked our first stop requires passports, not our own two feet," I remained smiling._

 _"Trust me?" he asked._

 _"Always," I said back. We continued walking and just before we got to where he was taking me, he put his hand over my eyes. "What are you doing?" I asked skeptically._

 _"It's a surprise, Elena," he drawled my name out slowly, giving me a light kiss on the cheek. We took a few more steps and then he took his hand away and allowed me to see where we were._

 _"Damon wha-" I started, confused._

 _"You don't think I know where you sneak off to every day. The good days and the bad always lead you here," he said back to me._

 _"And you know this because…" I retorted._

 _"Because I used to do the same thing when my mother died, I know how important it is," he said and looked down at me. We were in the cemetery, at my parents graves._

 _"I would've loved for them to have met you, you know," I said just above a whisper._

 _"I would've loved for my mother to have met you," he said back._

 _"They would've loved you,"_

 _"She would've loved you," we said this at the same time and started laughing._

 _"What is all of this?" I asked him, looking around to see twinkling lights in the trees around us. The sunset made them set off an orangey glow around us. It should've been creepy…but it wasn't. It was an odd kind of perfect._

 _"I wanted your parents to see this, I know you thought they never would. I didn't want you to see this as another thing they missed," he said to me as he watched my reaction._

 _"Damon…" I trailed off._

 _"Elena, I love you beyond words, beyond actions, beyond every part of this world. I know that I will never be good enough for you, but I would like to try to be, every moment of every day. No matter where we go…Paris, Rome, London, Sydney…I want you to be mine and I want to be yours forever," as he said this he knelt down on one knee. "Elena Gilbert, will you…_

I gulped in as much air as my lungs would take in. As soon as I woke up I had tears in my eyes and was breathing very heavily. My heart was pounding so loud I felt like the neighbors could hear it. I was very confused, I had never had a more realistic dream in my life, but one thing remained very clear. The feeling in my stomach, in my heart in right now. _Holy crap…I'm in love with Damon._

Once I got out of bed after thirty minutes of replaying the dream, I knew I had one mission and one mission alone. Avoid him. I couldn't even bring myself to say or think his name. I decided to go on another one of my longer runs and as I bounded the steps I saw the whole club eating breakfast together: Bonnie, Jeremy, Jenna, and Damon.

"Elena! Come eat with us, I made enough coffee to wake a tranquilized bear," Jenna yelled to me from the kitchen.

"I'm actually going to go for a run, I need some fresh air," I yelled back. Before she could protest, I slammed the front door shut and began to run. I ran as fast as a prisoner escaping Alcatraz would. I needed to escape my life, was anyone's this complicated? I mean, my subconscious decided to drop a bomb on me last night by telling me that I was in love with my aunt's boyfriend through a dream. He was proposing for crying out loud. It wasn't like I wanted to get married, I'm only seventeen, but if I was forced to choose someone right now to spend my life with, I guess it was him. _Fuck._ I normally didn't curse, but this situation gave me a pass.

When I got back to the house, sweaty and completely out of breath, I lazily reached for the back door handle. Before I could grasp it, the door slid open to reveal bright blue eyes and a chipper smile. "Get all the fresh air you needed Forrest?" he asked sarcastically, running his tongue across his bottom lip appreciatively.

"Are you checking me out?" I asked incredulously.

"Maybe…there's only one other situation I can think of where you would look like this. Covered in sweat and breathless. Just taking it in until then," he said with a lazy smirk.

"Cocky much?" I asked with an eye roll.

"Very…" he trailed off, eying my parted lips that were still gasping for breath.

"Will you let me in, I need water," I tried to shove passed him to get to the fridge but he stepped in front of me so that my body would fall into his hard one. He stabilized my arms and looked down at me with a funny expression.

"What?" I asked him shortly.

"We need to talk," he said to me hesitantly.

"What about?" I asked him lightly. He let me through to the fridge and I chugged the first bottle of water in sight.

"Elena…" he said seriously.

"Damon…" I said back, mocking his tone. "Look I need a shower, can we pick this up later?"

"You know where to find me," he said and walked out the door.

"Can't you just let me at least have five minutes to myself?!" I screamed and looked at the ceiling, unsure of who I was addressing.

After my shower, I went to the one place I knew Damon wouldn't be: the mall. Bonnie, Caroline, and I would spend the rest of the day doing retail therapy, each of us sharing our problems with one another. For once I was honest with them, yet vague enough so they wouldn't know who I was talking about.

"Have you guys ever had a super realistic dream that told you something about yourself, something you weren't expecting?" I asked.

"Well if you mean like the dream I had about Matt, then I guess," Caroline said vaguely, hoping to attract attention. It worked.

"What dream?" I asked her curiously.

"I dreamed that we were making out and I was really happy…turns out the real thing is even better," she said without thinking. "Oh, Elena I'm so so sorry, I know you said that you were cool with us going out but…" she looked guilty.

"Don't worry about it Care, I'm glad you're happy," I said sincerely.

"What happened in yours 'Lena?" Bonnie asked.

"Well…" I was struggling with how to recount the dream as honestly as I could. "There's this guy," Caroline's left eyebrow rose sharply, she was clearly interested, "We have a really complicated history, but this dream I had last night made me realize that I may have deeper feelings for him than I cared to admit. In the dream, he told me what I've wanted to hear from him for a while and then he knelt down, I think he was about to propose…"

"Wait what?!" Caroline yelped in response.

"I…I don't know maybe he was just…" I trailed off.

"Well he wasn't kneeling to tie his freakin' shoe Elena!" Caroline yelled at me.

"Okay, okay, okay, but it's not like I want to marry him," I reasoned.

"It doesn't mean anything literal. Grams always said that dreams were like a gateway to our deepest darkest fears, desires, and so on. Maybe yours was just trying to tell you to go after this guy. Who is it?" Bonnie asked.

"Can I plead the fifth on that one," I laughed nervously.

"Ohmygod spill you slut!" Caroline squealed.

"Of course you can Elena. Will you cut it out Caroline," Bonnie tried to be understanding.

"Oh come on, she cannot just keep this a secret from us, I wanna know! She knows all of my secrets," Caroline said.

"Considering that you are now going out with her ex and I am now going out with her brother, I think she's earned a little time to figure this guy out," Bonnie retorted.

"Fine," Caroline said unhappily.

I explained a little about our situation so that they would be able to understand my issues. "So wait, you think he really cares about you, you think you love him, but you've only kissed?" Caroline was astounded. "Honey, you need to jump his bones," she said with a seriousness that made me and Bonnie crack up. "What? Boy likes girl, girl likes boy…sex," she explained this like a math problem.

"You did not just say that," Bonnie was still laughing.

"There's something else…" I said in a tiny voice.

"Don't tell me he has herpes or something," Caroline's worried face made me smile.

"No, no it's nothing like that. Although I wouldn't be surprised," I smiled to myself knowing what his reaction would be to that statement, "He, uh…he has a girlfriend of several months. It's someone I know and that's why things haven't gone further," I blurted out.

"Elena…" Bonnie looked concerned.

"It's not that I don't feel guilty, believe me I do," I say honestly.

"Well I'm sure if you tell him how you really feel he'll dump her ass to the curb, I mean who wouldn't want Elena Gilbert? Well, except for Matt I guess," Caroline said with a small smile.

"Yeah Elena just tell him and see what happens. If it all goes to hell, there are plenty of other guys who would be lucky to have you. You'll never know unless you try," Bonnie reasoned.

"Okay, I'll tell him tonight," I said before I could change my mind.

"Well on that note, you may want to buy some new lingerie," Caroline said casually. Bonnie and I gaped at her, "What? You never know what'll happen…guys like that," she justified. "And to be brutally honest Elena…the way Matt's face lit up when he saw mine last night leads me to believe he hasn't seen cute underwear in years. You are in a serious sexy drought."

"Caroline!" I yelled despite myself.

"What I was just being blunt," she said.

"Okay, let's go," I said with an eye roll. Her delivery may have been…Caroline of her…but she was right. I was in a sexy drought. Whatever that was. Caroline led the way to Victoria's Secret and Bonnie and I followed like helpless puppies.

"And not to be gross, Elena, but Bonnie when's the last time Jeremy has seen underwear from this century?" Caroline asked, making me cringe.

"Caroline!" It was Bonnie who shouted this time. Everyone in Victoria's Secret turned to watch.

"Lingerie intervention…excuse us," Caroline addressed the rubberneckers and left me and Bonnie blushing. "Oh stop being such prudes and get in some dressing rooms, I'll be picking out the attire…or lack thereof," she said with a smile.

"She's going to be the death of me," Bonnie said to me as we picked dressing rooms.

"Well at least we know if we can survive Caroline Forbes we can survive just about anything else life throws our way," I giggled. The rooms were all full so we decided to share.

"Okay so no throwing these back to me, you have to at least try them on," Caroline shouted to us from outside the fitting room. We each looked like someone just pulled a gun on us. As we were each changing, Bonnie spotted the deep scar by my shoulder and gasped.

"Elena where on Earth did you get that? Was that from the fall?" Bonnie asked concerned, she reached out to touch it and I flinched without thinking. "Elena?"

"Sorry, um, yeah it's from the fall it's still tender. I probably should've gotten stitches," I shrugged it off. She looked concerned, but backed off. We both went back to struggling, the intricate sets of lingerie were about to strangle the two of us but we helped each other out. It took about an hour to each settle on two sets each. One of mine was the deep red color I knew he loved and the other was classic black. I tried not to look too hard at Bonnie's because my mind would wander to places I never wanted it to go.

When we got out of the mall and back to our houses it was around seven. I wanted to go see Damon right away, but I kept getting alerts on my phone to stay indoors due to flooding. Since it wasn't raining yet, I went to my car and tried not to think about it. Damon's house was only about a ten minute ride and if I hurried everything would be fine. I had to go and see him now before my courage faded. I needed to tell him the truth about how I felt. As I was walking to my car I felt the wind pick up around me and it started to drizzle. I heard a low rumble and saw a bolt of lightning in the distance.

I decided to turn the radio up and drive fast to get to his house before the storm from hellhit. I was almost to the Boarding House when lightning cracked in the sky and took down a tree right in front of my car. I sucked in a breath. That was way too close for comfort. My stomach was in tangles as I tried to reverse away from the downed tree, but the road was too flooded and I started to get flashbacks from my parent's accident. I needed to relax, so I took a few deep breathes and tried to talk myself down.

"Okay Elena, you can do this. Just think," I slowly got out of the car to try and see past the tree. There was only one more block to the Boarding House. _Maybe he could come and pick me up…_ As I was getting into my car my phone slipped out of my wet hand and fell into a puddle. "You have got to be kidding!" I felt hot tears form in my eyes. _Nothing left to give Elena._ I was right, this night was getting worse by the minute, but I would not let a storm strand me here balling my eyes out. I would have to walk in the pouring rain and thunder, my car couldn't get me anywhere and my phone was soaked.

So I started walking. Once it was about five minutes in I could feel my mascara pouring down my face. My clothes were drenched, my hair was in soaked tangles, I was shivering, and my soggy wedges were making my feet sore. I trudged on. I saw the Boarding House only a few yards away and let out a huge sigh of relief. Distracted with this small victory, I almost didn't see the large branch coming down over my head. I managed to evade death once again, but was now covered in mud. _So much for the new lingerie._

As I reached the door I grew nervous. I probably looked like a rat that just got pulled out of the sewer. My feet were probably swelled to the size of Texas by now and I was covered in mud and goopy mascara. Though all of this was true, I did not just go through all of that to walk away now. I didn't think I physically could walk away anyways, I hadn't eaten in hours and was freezing cold.

I leaned against the door after my second time ringing the bell with no answer and actually fell into Damon's arms when he finally opened it. "Elena?" Damon's voice rose as he saw the shape I was in. "What the hell happened?" he asked.

"I underestimated the storm from hell and it kicked my ass," I said, now seeing a lot more black than anything else. "Damon…" I called out.

"I'm right here, I'm not going to let go," he whispered against my ear.

"I swear I never passed out this much before I met you," I let out weakly.

"I tend to have that effect on women," he said with a small smirk.

"You're an ass," was the last think I said before I went out.

 **The next chapter is already written and ready to go. I will post it shortly... :)**


	7. Never Let Me Go

Thank you to everyone for the amazing support! Your reviews, favorites, and follows mean the world to me! I know this chapter took longer than expected, but I wanted to make it perfect for all of you. I hope it was worth the wait... Let me know what you think :)

I own nothing.

 **Chapter 7: Never Let Me Go**

 _And the arms of the ocean are carrying me_

 _And all this devotion was rushing out of me_

 _And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me_

 _But the arms of the ocean delivered me_

 _-Florence + the Machine_

 _He knelt down and looked up at me with an intense gaze that shook me to my core. "Elena Gilbert, will you…"_

I sucked in as much air as my lungs would let in. "Elena! You're okay, you're with me," I was still in Damon's arms, we were on the ground by the front door.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"Only a few minutes…what were you dreaming about? You said my name," he said this with a pleased grin.

"Uh, nothing," I lied. He gave me a look that told me he didn't buy it. "Fine, I dreamed that we were in bed together," I started, peering up at him under thick lashes. "I was moaning your name and then…" I trailed off, trying not to burst out laughing.

"And then?" he whispered hotly to me.

"And then, I reached over towards you and I…" I trailed off again, watching his facial expressions and trying to remain serious.

"And then you what Elena…" his eyes were a stormy ocean blue, watching me with an intensity I had never experienced.

"And then…I smacked that smirk you always have on your face clean off," I laughed out loud and gave him an evil grin. He totally fell for it.

"Elena Gilbert, you little vixen. I didn't think you had it in you," he said astounded and slightly amused.

He finally lifted me off the ground and asked me if I wanted a towel. "What do you think?" I asked back. His amusement faded at my snarky question.

"What I think, Elena," he started, while stepping closer to me so that I was eventually backed into a wall, "is that you must have needed me pretty badly if you were willing to go through that storm to get here. What is it that you want, exactly?"

"Okay first of all I didn't _need_ you. Second, why are you being like this? Third, are you going to get me a towel or what?" I was getting frustrated.

"Hmm," he made an intrigued sound.

"What?" I asked angrily.

"You're hot when you're angry," he smirked.

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously.

"Now why would I get you a towel when you clearly wanted me to see," he lightly traced the underwire of my red bra, "this." I could feel his eyes on my face, but couldn't bring myself to meet them.

"My car," I blurted out before I could think about what I was saying.

I short chuckle came from deep in his chest, "Well that's new."

"My car is out in the middle of the road down the street," I finished, looking up at him to see more intrigue in his eyes.

He stepped closer, our bodies grazing, "I guess we'd better go and get it then," he whispered against my ear. I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding and nodded. Instead of moving to the front door he poured himself a bourbon.

"I thought we were going to get my car…" I started slowly.

"Well there's no point in going now, we'll go in the morning once the storm is over," he responded.

"But I can't get home, the only road to my house is blocked by a tree," I said.

"Well then I guess you'll have to sleep here," he smirked as he looked at my flustered face and took a swig of his drink.

"I need a shower, I'm covered in mud," I blurted out.

"You don't have to keep stating the obvious when you're nervous Elena. I can see the pulse in your neck throbbing every millisecond from here," Damon said smartly.

"Well at least I don't act like an ass every time I'm uncomfortable," I sniped back and walked down the hall until I found a bathroom. Even though I was angry, as I showered I couldn't help but think of that dream. It had felt so real, almost like a memory. _But a memory of what? What had Bonnie said earlier? "…dreams were like a gateway to our deepest darkest fears, desires, and so on." And so on…_

And then I realized. The dream I had wasn't a literal memory of Damon proposing to me. It was my subconscious trying to get me to remember the one memory I had been suppressing for months. The moment I had wanted more from him, the moment I had felt more for him. The moment I had fallen in love with Damon Salvatore.

It was the night I had told Matt I loved Damon. Except, I hadn't loved Damon when I told Matt, I was simply falling for him. But then, he came to pick me up, probably scouring all of Mystic Falls for a girl he had just met. A girl who had, quite frankly, been a bitch to him since he'd met her. Then he kissed me. It was the kiss that assured me that everything I wanted out of life was possible. It was the kiss that set my whole world in balance by tearing it off of its axis. And when I wanted to go further with him, he stopped us. Not because he was the perfect gentleman or because he didn't want to go further, but because he wanted it to be real and right. I remember him saying that I was beautiful and remember the warm feeling of his jacket around me that smelled of bourbon and _him._ Then he took me home.

That moment itself may have been one of the simpler ones in my life, but it was the best one. It made me feel happy and safe. But it also made me feel alive at a point in my life when I never thought I could feel that way again. He saved me that night. He brought me back to life. And waking up with him that next morning, although scary, made me realize that I wanted to wake up like that every day. That memory, I realized, would never leave me and would always make me smile. _No matter what_ , I promised myself. _I would never let it go._

Once I got out of the shower I noticed that I had forgotten to grab towels. "Damon!" I yelled, hoping he heard me. "I forgot towels can you grab me some."

"What was that I couldn't quite hear you?" he asked in a chipper voice on the other side of the door.

"Damon I know you heard what I said," I said between clenched teeth.

"Well I don't just hand out towels to any riff raff that comes walking through my door," I could tell he was smirking, "what do I get in return?"

"For towels, Damon? Really?" I asked exasperatedly. He could make me feel a hundred different emotions in a matter of seconds. One second I was in love, the next I was annoyed. That was Damon.

"Elena I know you heard what I said," he mimicked my earlier statement making me want to slap him.

"Oh I heard you, I just can't believe you. Fine, what do you want from me Damon?"

"That, Elena dear, is a very _loaded_ question," he said pompously.

"Any time today," I rolled my eyes. "Oh and by the way, I am not prostituting myself for towels, just in case that wasn't clear."

"Wow you can really read a man's mind. Thank you for clarifying. I guess there's nothing I can really do then, you'll have to get them yourself," I could hear his footsteps walking away from the bathroom.

"Damon!" I screamed, I could not believe him. "Damon! Wait!" Something told me he wasn't coming back. "You may not care if I'm soaking wet, but I'm pretty sure that the rug I'm standing on is Persian…" I screamed to him. I could hear his faint footsteps becoming louder. He was back at the door of the bathroom. _Thank god._

"Elena, you and I both know that I care when you are soaking wet…" he started lewdly.

"Damon you know what I mean!" I yelled at the door.

"As for the Persian rug…impeccable eye by the way…I could care less. Stefan picked it out. It's a little gaudy for my tastes. Now I have a reason to throw it away," he said all of this so flippantly that I wanted to rip the door open and slap him. Obviously I couldn't do that with my lack of clothing.

I heard his footsteps leaving again and cried out desperately, "Can you at least tell me where the towels are?"

"I keep the towels in my room, in case you didn't notice, no one else lives here," he yelled back to me. _Smart ass._ _Fine, I would just have to find his room and get a towel. Naked._

Stark naked and dripping wet I slowly walked down the hall to Damon's room, the only one with a light shining underneath the door. I took a deep breath and slowly turned the knob.

I was almost tempted to close my eyes, not wanting to see his expression, but kept them wide open. But…his back was turned, he was grabbing towels for me in his closet.

"You didn't actually think that I was going to make you walk around the house naked?" he asked me, facing away. I slowly walked up to grab two towels, one for my hair and one for my body. "I was just coming to give these to you," he said in a sincere tone, obviously feeling guilty that I actually walked around the house naked.

"Thank you," I whispered to him. Whatever anger I had towards him passed, he obviously felt bad and I wasn't one to hold a grudge. He turned around after I was fully covered and just watched me, waiting for me to say more. "Why didn't you?" I asked him curiously.

"Why didn't I what?" he asked confused.

"Why didn't you look, I mean you had a chance to see me in all my glory. Isn't that what you wanted?" I asked him.

"When I see you in 'all your glory' it'll be when you want me to not when I play a mean trick on you," he said back. I gave him a small smile before he continued. "Are you okay? From earlier?"

"Yes," I told him shortly.

"It isn't normal to just pass out like that," he said.

"It is when you keep having to figure out what mood Damon Salvatore is in," I said back.

He rolled his eyes, "Not even then."

"Well, I'm also starving, I haven't eaten since I didn't eat at breakfast," I said cutely.

"Perfect, I'm going to make you dinner," he said sounding pleased with himself.

"Oh my, Damon Salvatore making me dinner, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world," I said in a sarcastic voice.

"You have no idea," he said. "It's the least I can do since you're _always_ having to figure out my various moods." He was just about to leave to start cooking when he walked to his drawer to pull out one of his shirts. "You can wear this since you're clothes are soaked."

"Thanks," I said gently, taking the black button up gratefully. Even though I didn't have underwear, I would take anything I could get at this point.

"I'll call you when it's ready," he said abruptly and then he left. I took the chance to quickly button his shirt over my body. It ended at the top of my thighs, but covered more than the towel did. I began to look around his room. It was pretty bare, as I had expected, but one thing caught me off guard. I found a worn copy of _Gone with the Wind_ with faded cursive writing on the inside: _Damon, for when you want to escape –Love, Mom_

I felt tears prick my eyes as I gently laid the book down where I found it. Before I thought more about it I heard his voice yell to me that dinner was ready. I jumped in response, feeling like I had been caught stealing something. I shook the feeling off and went into the dining room.

When I walked in, Damon was already sitting at the table, drinking wine. He peered up at me and choked slightly on the liquid, making me blush. "Of all the sights I've seen…" he murmured under his breath as he set the wine down. The food smelt amazing and my stomach growled loudly. Damon's lips turned into a genuine smile for a millisecond when he heard that and he pulled a chair out for me to sit. Once I saw the plate full of beautiful looking pasta and bread I licked my lips.

"You didn't have to go to all this trouble for me," I said to him with a grateful smile.

"Well, you know me and trouble, I just can't stay away," he said as he started eating.

"Haha very funny," I mocked. As I began eating his pasta, I let out a soft moan at how good it tasted. I felt his eyes resting on me so I decided to roll with it. "God, Damon this is so good," I moaned to him, smirking a bit.

"Haha very funny," he shot back, smirking a bit too. The rest of the dinner was quiet with a few lingering stares. I helped him clean up and then we walked together back to his room.

"So…" I trailed off and looked up at him.

"So…" he repeated, stepping closer to me.

"Can I…ask you something?" I asked tentatively. He nodded so I continued, "How do you feel about me?"

"You really don't know?" he pressed, moving even closer to where I stood.

"I need to hear you say it," I pleaded.

"Why?" he asked a bit annoyed.

"Because…"

"Because why, Elena? What are you even doing here? Last time I checked you were too busy pushing me away to notice my feelings for you," he said angrily

"Last time I checked I invited you to stay with me last night until your _girlfriend_ came looking for you," I responded angrily. "Do you know how messed up that is? Your girlfriend is my aunt, one of the only family members I have left, what are the odds?"

"If I tell you how I _really_ feel you'll end up hating me," he told me.

"I could never hate you, Damon," I admit.

"After I met you, I wanted to break up with Jenna. I only stayed with her so that I could see you. It's not like I could come over for visits to my ex-girlfriend's house to start seeing her underage niece," he admitted. _So that was what he was afraid to tell me. Rightfully so._

"So you're using her?" I asked angrily. "What did you just figure you could hop from bed to bed every night? I mean they're in the same hallway so it'd be pretty damn easy," I was fuming.

"You know I would never do that to you, I haven't slept with anyone since I met you. You're all I think about, the only one I want. I was just stringing her along to find a way to-"

"I can't believe you're using her like that…" I whispered to myself.

"Yes I'm using her Elena, because I'm selfish. I'm not a good person, the sooner you realize that the better," his fiery eyes were testing me.

"Well," I chuckle under my breath, "too late."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Dammit Damon, I'm in love with you," the words left my mouth before I could think about their repercussions. I couldn't believe I had just said that. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ When I chanced a glance up at him, his eyes looked the same as they had in my dream. They were _happy._

I decided to hesitantly continue,"Even now, even knowing that you're using my aunt. I'm in love you, I've been in love with you. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. But I am now, and I need you to know it. I love you Damon Salvatore," my eyes never left his. But his eyes were no longer happy.

"Elena, I…" he looked pained. "You don't deserve this, you deserve someone better."

"What are you talking about? Didn't you hear what I said? I love you, I don't want someone better…there is no one better," I had tears in my eyes. "We can deal with Jenna, we can be together," I told him in earnest.

"Elena I'm not just a couple years older than you. I realize that it doesn't feel like it, but there are so many things we wouldn't be able to do until you're eighteen," he looked…sad.

"What are you saying?" I asked him.

"Are you really willing to wait that long to go out on a date in public, to introduce me to your friends and family as your…boyfriend? This is a small town Elena, our relationship could ruin the both of us," he said sincerely. "You deserve better than sneaking around in a secret relationship."

"I know what I deserve Damon. I deserve someone who won't give up on a relationship with me before it even starts. I deserve someone who tells me that they love me too. You're a lot of things Damon, but I didn't realize you were a coward too," I turned to leave in a fit of anger.

He chased after me, "Elena! Elena, wait!"

"Screw you Damon! I tell you that I love you and you just push me away? I thought you would fight for me, for us. I guess I was wrong," I yelled back at him. Hot tears scorched my cool cheeks and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had never felt this way before. Just as I reached the front door I felt Damon's strong hand on my arm. He yanked at it so I spun around into his body. He kept me locked against him as our eyes battled, mine full of tears and his full of fire. Before I had time to react he pressed his lips against mine roughly.

I tried to push him off, pounding my fists against his chest, but he wouldn't budge. And then I gave into it, melting into the kiss. The whole world faded away, the argument and the complications, it was just the two of us. His tongue swiped at my bottom lip and he bit at it gently, causing me to release a soft, breathy moan against his parted lips. I bit back a little harder on his lip and I felt him smirk at my reaction, moving his hands down my body. He lifted me up so that I could wrap my legs around his waist and carried me to his bedroom. Once there he tossed me onto his bed, leaving me breathless. Our eyes were locked in an intense gaze as he crawled up the bed to lay over me, strong arms on either side of my face. He gently pushed my hair away from neck, tipped back my head and began to sloppily kiss up my throat, knawing and sucking at the sensitive part where my shoulder met my neck.

I let out a whimper at the sensation and allowed him to unbutton the shirt he gave me as I took care of his jeans. Once he was left in just his underwear, he finished unbuttoning the shirt I wore, leaving searing hot kisses after every button he undid. I couldn't catch my breath when I saw the way he was looking at my now exposed body. I tried to turn away from his intense stare when he cupped my face and forced me to look into his eyes. "You are so beautiful," he whispered to me. He looked at me like I was the only thing in his universe. My heart fluttered and my stomach did flips, those words and that gaze making me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. He was certainly the sexiest man in the world. His muscles rippled in just the right ways, his eyes pierced into my soul, his raven hair glowed, and his mouth was sinful.

He kissed down my body, with each kiss he would say another word. Just below my ear he licked at a sensitive spot that made my back arch and whispered, "You're so sexy." He went on to give a gentle kiss on the scar by my shoulder, "And strong." He sucked on one of my perky nipples, his tongue lapping at it and he moaned, "And fucking hot." I couldn't take it anymore, I was getting so hot that I thought I would faint.

"Damon," I moaned his name. "Please," I whimpered.

"I thought," he began as he kissed down my smooth thigh, "that you said you didn't _need_ me…" he trailed off as I felt his breath on the one place I needed him most. "Tell me you need me Elena," he purred up to me evilly.

"God Damon," I let out breathily.

"Believe me, God won't have anything to do with this," I felt his lips smirking on the skin of my inner thigh. "Say you need me Elena and I will give you everything you want and more, I'll make your wildest fantasies seem like child's play," he gently bit at the skin on my inner thigh.

"I need you Damon, I need you more than I need air," I breathed to him.

"Good answer," he breathed back. I felt his tongue begin to trace around the area I needed him most before stopping to suck on my clit. I arched my back to press against Damon's lips harder, he chuckled lowly and continued to work me up until I reached my first orgasm. It was the strongest one I had ever had. Before I fully came down from my high, I heard Damon ask me something but couldn't quite process it. I simply nodded and then felt him enter me in one swift thrust.

"Oh my god!" I let out as a mix of pain and pleasure shook me to my core. I had never been filled this much in my life.

"I think you're getting me mixed up with someone much more…innocent," he whispered to me huskily, on "innocent" he thrust again, deeper than anyone had ever gone before. I moaned loudly into his gasping mouth. As I started meeting his hard thrusts, I heard him release the sexiest groan I had ever heard.

His hard body slammed into mine, pushing me into the bed as he thrust into me faster and harder. I let out a loud guttural moan as he slowed his pace, thrusting deeply again. Every time he went this deep I would shiver a bit and something in my stomach cramped. He kept hitting a spot that made my toes curl. "Yess Damon, oh fuck, yes," my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I was completely giving into him. At that point he could've killed me and I would've been fine with it. I was in pure bliss. As he thrusted into me he kept sucking at my neck and palming my breasts.

"Fuck, Elena," he moaned out as my walls gripped him hard, responding to his roughness. He flipped us over, pinning me down under him. I gripped at the sheets around me as he entered me roughly from behind, causing me to whimper and then groan against the bed. In this position I could hear ever moan, every growl, and every labored breath that left his mouth because it was right against my ear as he pounded into me. "You like that baby, hearing how much pleasure you're giving me," he purred against my ear.

"Fuck, Damon," I moaned as he picked up the pace, flipping me back over so that he could see my pleasure stricken face. His stormy eyes found mine before our lips crashed together in another heated kiss. I was literally screaming his name as he pounded into me a few more times before we both met our violent releases. We didn't talk for a while as we regained our breathing. "That was…" I started to say.

"The best I've ever had," he said as he smirked down at me. I giggled and agreed with him. We laid there for a few minutes simply looking into each other's eyes. Our bodies were still entangled and my head was resting on his bare chest. I had my eyes closed and my breathing was slow and soft, I was almost asleep. I felt so safe in his arms, like nothing bad could ever happen to me as long as I was with him. Right before I fell asleep, Damon kissed my cheek gently and whispered into my ear, "I love you too."


	8. Out of the Blue

Hello, everyone! After a sever case of writer's block I'm back and I apologize for leaving you all hanging. I feel terrible about it, which is why I made this chapter a long one. I hope you'll all forgive me and I hope you like this chapter :) Reviews keep me going and I appreciate every single one very much! I own nothing.

 **Chapter 8: Out of the Blue**

 _How could you be  
So perfect for me?  
Why can't you ignore  
The things I did before? _

_-Julian Casablancas_

"Rise and shine sleepy head," I hear a husky voice purr into my ear. I let out a tired, yet contented moan and tilt my head up to meet his gaze. And then I freaked out.

"Ohmygod!" I jump up in surprise.

"I thought we went over this…" Damon started to say with a smirk.

"Damon…" I pleaded with him to be serious.

"…four times was it?" he gave me the sexiest look I had ever seen and I began to blush.

"Damon, I'm serious, what time is it? We have to find my car and I have to get…" his lips captured mine in the middle of my sentence.

"…on top of me? I agree," he smirked, grabbing my hips and shifting them on top of his.

"Damon, I have to get home!" I giggled into his mouth as he continued giving me little kisses on my lips, cheeks, and neck.

"I think that can wait, don't you?" he breathed into my ear.

He let his hand travel down the side of my face, pushing my deep brown locks aside, and dragged a single finger against my parted lips. His eyes never left my lips as his hand traveled further down my body. I involuntarily began to arch against his hand when a loud knock sounded from the front door. Damon was still looking at me like I was his breakfast and I tried to push his hand away. "Damon, you know who that could be right?" I asked seriously, trying to bring him back to reality. If it was Jenna I was in big trouble, and to be honest I deserved it.

"It's my brother," he responded with an eye roll.

"What? Why is your brother here? I thought you two hated each other?" I asked him.

"Well I did just spend a couple of months with him after the accident. We are officially tolerating each other instead of hating each other," Damon explained vaguely.

"Well, are you going to answer it?" I asked as I heard another loud knock.

"He's probably just here to try and sell more Girl Scout cookies," he said sarcastically. "I already told him that he wasn't cute enough to rope me into buying any, but he's very persistent."

I let out a tiny giggle, "I've never met your brother, but I'm sure he's here for more than just his Girl Scout troop."

"Stefan wanted to spend the day brother bonding," Damon groaned and fell back into his pillow, squeezing his eyes shut dramatically. "I forgot about it because someone was a little distracting," Damon gave the shell of my ear a tiny nip and I breathed in at the sensation.

"You should really answer that," I say reluctantly.

"Why? I'm sure he would understand the situation…oh wait, no he wouldn't. He's never had such a beautiful girl in his bed," Damon let out a lazy smirk.

"Stop flirting and go answer the door. I want to meet this brother of yours, and then later tonight we can have all the fun you want," I told him with an evil grin.

"I'm going to hold you to that," he says and rolls off the bed to start putting his clothes on. When I get off the bed his eyes travel down my body, "Wait…why hold you to it when we can do it right now?" he gives me a cute smile.

"Cut it out!" I say with a grin, walking over to give him a peck on the mouth.

"I think your clothes should be dry, so just meet me downstairs," he told me.

"Okay," I say sweetly before he leaves. Luckily my clothes are completely dry, but they are still muddy. I shrug it off, they actually didn't look that bad and it was still a cute outfit. Just as I was about to head downstairs, I heard Damon's phone buzzing on the night table. It was Jenna. I groaned inwardly and hesitantly picked it up.

"Hey Jenna," I said slowly.

"Elena! Thank god you are okay! I've been worried sick about you, you never came home and the storm was crazy last night! Are you okay?" Jenna was talking faster than usual.

"I'm so sorry I freaked you out, I couldn't get home last night because my car got stuck in the middle of the road near the Boarding House. My phone fell in a puddle so I couldn't reach you. Damon let me stay the night…" I trailed off nervously, deciding if I should tell her the truth or not.

"I'm just so glad you're okay, Elena. Me and Jeremy will pick up your car and bring it home. Tell Damon to drive you home, I want to speak with him," she said.

"Okay…speak to him about what?" I asked nervously.

"Don't worry about it, I'll see you later," she answered and then hung up.

I let out a breath of relief that she was not suspicious of Damon and me at all. If she were, she would've come right out and said it, that's just how she was. Glad that I had a little more time to figure things out with her, I decided to head downstairs. I heard the two brothers' muffled talking as I walked down the stairs and just as I was about to see them their voices stopped.

"It's so nice to meet…" I began as I rounded the corner and then I froze. This could not be happening.

"Elena?" Damon spoke after at least a minute of silence.

"…you," I finished with a tone of realization, staring at Damon's brother like I had seen a ghost. I swallowed hardly, trying to process.

"Elena?" Stefan asked with a shocked look on his face.

"Wait, you two know each other?" Damon asked curiously, a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Stefan it's um…it's nice to see you again," I said as politely as I could, trying to mask the shock and awkwardness of the situation I was in. I felt so stupid that I had not made the connection, I mean how often do you hear the name Stefan?

"Yeah, you too," Stefan looked really uncomfortable. Damon's jaw clenched and I immediately took in the much needed breath I had been holding in.

"Damon, Stefan and I dated the summer my parents died," I said in the calmest voice I could muster, watching Damon's eyes widen a tad. "I had no idea you had a brother," I addressed this to Stefan with a little ice in my voice.

"Stefan's not one to brag, me on the other hand…" Damon allowed his conceited and emotionless side out just as he slung a possessive arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "enjoy bragging, especially about the smart women who choose me over the less experienced, less attractive model." He finished his lewd comment with a smirk that irritated me to no end. "Well at least now we don't have to worry about the awkward introductions," Damon said flippantly, heading over to the tumbler of bourbon in the living room despite the fact that it was ten in the morning.

I looked at his emotionless eyes heatedly before rolling mine and looking at Stefan, "I should really get going, Jenna and Jeremy are expecting me."

"Don't you need your phone?" Damon asked from behind me with a chipper voice.

"Why would I need a broken cell phone, Damon? Has all that bourbon finally gone to your big head?" I looked over my shoulder, annoyed at how this morning was turning out. I was guilty about what I had done to Jenna, and annoyed that I had let this asshole weasel his way into my heart just before he reverted back to his old ways. I tried to move past the brothers to freedom when Damon reached for my hand, shooting heat up my arm and forcing me to look into his electric eyes. They told me that he didn't give a rat's ass if my phone was broken or not because he wanted me upstairs.

"Well insurance might cover it and you can get a new one, let's go look for it before you leave. Can you give us a second Stefan?" Damon asked, not really looking for an answer.

"No problem," Stefan said, polite as always. His face showed a mix of confusion, concern, and left over shock from seeing me. I gave him a small, grateful smile that didn't go unnoticed by Damon and then we both went back upstairs.

Once we were in his room Damon finally spoke, "What the hell was that, Elena?"

I gave him a glare, "I should be asking you the same damn question, Damon. I didn't realize how true my statements were last night. You're a coward. You revert back to the asshole you were when I met you whenever things get hard. Why are you so mad anyway?" I raised my voice slightly, not loud enough for Stefan to hear downstairs.

"Maybe my statements were true as well," he let out quietly, his eyes haunted by something.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I don't deserve you. And now that Saint Stefan is back to town like fuckin' Santa Klaus to rekindle his relationship with you, I'll be left alone. I'm just speeding up the inevitable, darling. We were never going to work. Although last night was fun, I'll never be what you need," he said all of this with a coldness I hadn't known he possessed. Although I should be addressing the statement's entirety four words kept echoing in my mind.

"Last night was _fun_?" I yelled at him like I had lost my mind. "What am I to you, some kind of slut that just let you use my body? I heard you, you know," I said angrily, referring to his 'I love you' when he thought I was asleep.

"You heard what, Elena? Because whatever it was, it was probably a figment of your imagination, just go back to Stefan, I'm sure you two make the perfect couple," he said as he pushed past me.

"Why in the hell do you think I'm so eager to go back to Stefan? That was a year ago and I never told _him_ that I loved him, even after he told me," I saw Damon's body stiffen and then he turned around to meet my eyes.

"I ruin everything in my path, Elena. Last night, it meant something to me, you mean something to me. But I can't let what happen-"

"Is this about Katherine," I cut him off. Slowly beginning to piece together what was happening.

"You know about Katherine?" Damon said with narrowed eyes.

"Of course I do, except Stefan conveniently left out that the situation involved his brother. Good thing I know you better than you think I do," I said in a clipped voice. I strode across the room to grab Damon's face in my hands, never breaking eye contact with him, "I am not Katherine, Damon." I was finally beginning to realize that this had nothing to do with me, it was all in Damon's head. No wonder he was the way that he was. If I had been left in the dust by someone I loved I would try to push love away too. But I would not let that happen to him.

"How can you be so sure," he said tightly.

"Because, I love you. You, Damon, not him. I never loved him and I never will, because when I look at you I see everything I want from life and what we could have together. I never saw that with him. For the second time, there is no one better for me. I think I've proven my devotion to you by going behind Jenna's back to be with you. Also, I think we're even on the sleeping with relatives scale now," I said with a small chuckle.

"He wasn't…" Damon trailed off, his eyes about to go cold again.

"Matt was my first, and trust me, I meant what I said about you being the best I'd ever had. It wasn't just post-orgasmic bliss talking," I smiled at him. He wrapped me in his arms until I couldn't breathe and then kissed me with a passionate kiss that left me even more breathless.

He looked into my eyes, electricity passing between the two of us and sparking in our eyes, "I love you, too." My heart did a flip, our second argument dissolved and I had gotten what I wanted out of him. I gave him a meaningful kiss and when we parted a knock sounded at Damon's bedroom door.

"Did you find your phone, Elena?" Stefan's voice came out nervously as he pushed the door open. Damon's body went rigid at the sound of my name on Stefan's lips, so I broke his tension by giving him a short peck on the lips in front of Stefan, who gawked at us like he had just witnessed a murder. Damon's smirk returned, but the good kind, and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Elena, there are children present," Damon said with feigned concern and I giggled.

"Stefan, there's something you should know. Damon is my boyfriend," at the word Damon squeezed my hand and my heart fluttered again, "I know this is a weird situation, but I'm really happy and hope you're okay with this." He looked more pissed than okay with the situation, but gave me a curt nod in understanding before turning and going down the stairs.

"Well that went well," Damon let out with a contented chuckle and I rolled my eyes.

"A lot better than when we tell Jenna," I raised a brow at him and he frowned slightly.

"I'm going to break up with her as soon as I see her again, Elena. There isn't anyone better for me either," he said, but I could tell compassion wasn't one of his strong suits. I used it to my advantage.

"The womanizing Damon Salvatore turning monogamous. I think the women of the world are going to revolt," I said sarcastically. Damon squinted at me playfully.

"Watch it Gilbert, I may only want you, but I don't think that even I could protect you from all of those sexually frustrated women that are going to unleash their wrath on you," he said, tapping my nose with a smile.

"I like that face," I say lightly, tracing his lips with a finger.

"What face?" he asks.

"Your happy, smiley face," I say with a laugh.

"It only comes out for you," he says as he throws me on the bed.

"Damon as much as I'd love to do this…" my voice trailed off as his fingertips ran down my body.

"I think you're thinking of something different," he says with a devious smile.

"What are you talking about?" I ask suspiciously.

"Do you trust me?" he asks with intense seriousness that catches me off guard.

"Yes…" I say in apprehension.

"You really shouldn't have said that," he says quickly and starts to tickle me.

"Damon!" I gasp between harsh laughs. He knows right where to poke and prod to make me laugh out loud.

"This is for sleeping with my brother," he pokes at my side and my eyes let out tears from laughing so much, "and this is for teasing me." He squeezes a sensitive spot on my neck and I can barely breathe. "Okay, I think I've tortured you enough. Actually, I think you've had enough torture since you had to sleep with my brother. Believe me, I know when a girl hasn't been properly satisfied in a few years. Or ever."

"Damon!" I laugh and hit his chest playfully. "As not-fun as this has been, I think I have to go home before Jenna has a heart attack."

"I'll drive," he says this like a fact and I simply go along because there's no use fighting him on this.

Once we make it in the house, Jenna and Damon awkwardly sit down at the dining room table and I head upstairs. Turns out that Jenna has been seeing my history teacher, Alaric, and the break was as clean as possible between her and Damon. They even agreed to remain friends, especially since Jenna knows how close he'd gotten with me and Jeremy. _If only she knew_. It makes me feel less guilty knowing she was seeing someone else too, but I still knew that someday she would need to know the truth and that haunted me. For now, however, I had a new, sexy, older boyfriend to call my own and I couldn't be happier. That was why I was currently out celebrating with said boyfriend and my amazing friends, just not all together.

Caroline, Bonnie, and I were having a girl's night at the Grille and Damon was drinking with the drinking buddy turned girlfriend stealer, Alaric. No hard feelings were picked up on, because let's face it, Jenna and Damon had not been as serious as I had thought and guys got over drama faster than it started. Although we were separated, I could feel his eyes on me as I danced with Caroline and Bonnie, rolling my hips a little more than usual to tease him. I was having the time of my life until an unwelcomed, yet familiar set of arms wrapped around my body, causing me to turn around. "Stefan?" I unwrapped myself from his arms and looked at him in confusion. He hadn't even been this touchy-feely with me when we were together.

"I've missed you 'Lena, I know you've missed me too," he said as he grabbed for my arm again. I eagerly looked for Damon at the bar, but unfortunately couldn't find him.

"Stefan, let go of me. I told you, I'm with Damon now, we're over," I rip my arm out of his hand roughly, hoping he'd get the point. Begrudgingly he did and for that I was thankful.

"What was that about?" Caroline asked me as soon as Stefan left.

"That was Stefan trying to get me back, but I'm not interested," I said with an eye roll.

"Why not? He's totally hot and obviously still wants you. Unless you and mystery man..." I knew I needed to tell Caroline everything, and hoped Stefan would keep it to himself for now, but tonight was not the night.

"I'll explain why later, just dance with me Forbes," I pull her onto the dance floor where we danced for an hour straight before she and some random guy left. Typical Caroline. Bonnie was off dirty dancing with my brother somewhere, I was sure, but I still couldn't find Damon. I went up to the bar, ordering a soda since I had not been in the mood for alcohol lately, and asked Alaric where Damon had run off too.

"He got a call from someone named Katherine I think, he went outside to take to it," Alaric was drunk as a skunk, but even through his slurred words my body heated at the name. Before he could add anything else I nervously sipped at my Sprite, considering my options. I could trust him enough to let him deal with the call and explain it to me later, or I could find him, snatch the phone out of his hands, and tell the evil slut off for calling my man. Not having any liquid courage on my side, I decided to give him exactly ten minutes to come back with an explanation before I lost it. I had never been this jealous before, and did not like the feeling.

It had been five minutes and I had finished my soda, waiting at the bar and talking to Alaric as if we had been friends for years. He was actually an amazing guy, aside from being my favorite teacher, and I was truly happy Jenna had found him. I think he's going to be a keeper. I told him as much and with that he left to go and find his girl, hopefully walking to her. I giggled as he stumbled through the exit and returned my gaze to my empty soda glass. I wanted another while I waited, but began to feel nauseous probably because I drank it too fast. I let another five minutes pass, but before I could head outside to find him I headed to the bathroom. My stomach was not happy with me and the only explanation I had was little food consumption and rapid Sprite drinking. It hurt so bad that I began feeling light headed when the same arms from before wrapped around me again.

"Stefan…" I trailed off, hearing my slightly slurred speech, what the hell was going on.

"Shhh," he said against my ear, "I think I know where Damon is." I picked my tired head up at his statement and let him guide my out into the alley in search of Damon.

Feeling a lack of filter I mumbled something about loving him more than anything in the universe, like a five year old, and Stefan simply stiffened at the comment. I turned to him, "I really am sorry Stefan, you are such a good person and I want you to be happy." I gave him a cheeky smile, returning my gaze to the alley way seeing no sign of Damon. "Hey, you liar," I giggled at him and almost tripped against him as I poked his chest, "I don't see Damon anywhere!"

"That's because he isn't here, sweety," Stefan's words ran through my brain a few times before they made sense.

"What are you talking about?" I asked in a whisper. "Where is he?"

"Somewhere far enough away to not hear your screams," he said in a chilling voice.

"My…my what?" I asked feeling coldness wash over my body.

"You know, Elena? I always took you for a pretty face, an amazing body too, but I never thought that's all there was. Clearly seeing as how you've ended up with my _brother_ and now can't even comprehend the English language, I was wrong," Stefan purred against my ear.

"Stefan, what's wrong with you?" I asked, my voice trembling now.

"I'm going to make you see how wrong your decision was to be with Damon. I'm going to make you regret not waiting for me like I waited for you," he said with little emotion. After his dark words I felt him slam my body against the wall, allowing my fuzzy head to hit against the brick hard. I let out a gasp in pain, feeling blood gush out of my head.

"Stefan, please. Please I can't-" I tried to get out but his hand smashed against my lips.

"Shut up," he said roughly as I tried to scream, allowing tears to run down my face. This could not be happening again, in what world does this happen two times to someone? What had I done to deserve this? I tried to fight against him, but unlike before, my body and mind were not working as one. It was then I realized he must've slipped something in my drink. The Stefan that was loving, caring, sweet, polite, and compassionate was gone. I didn't know who this person in front of me was and it frightened me to my very core.

As he began to rip at my clothing roughly, images of the night I had been similarly attacked flashed in mind. I was seeing black spots at this point, either from the drugs or my head being smashed against the brick harder than my head had hit anything before. I squeezed my eyes shut as Stefan's rough hands trailed down my shaking body. I thought of Damon's smile and how it ignited his beautiful blue eyes to make this situation easier on me mentally, forcing happy thoughts into my hazy mind as to not break completely. As hard as I tried, the images of happiness wouldn't stick, they were being jabbed at by the pulsating pain reverberating through my skull. This was it. Statistically, I didn't think I would make it out of another situation like this without being raped. I silently thought death would be kinder as his hands dug into my hips, freeing my mouth so that I could gasp for air. I let out a scream that earned me a slap across the face, but I didn't care and continued to scream the one name I could remember. Damon.


	9. Take Your Time

Hello everyone! I am back! I apologize for the gap year I had a lot going on and just didn't have it in me to write anymore. I am in a better place now and hope to finish this story for all of you! For those still with me thank you I appreciate you reading and would love some reviews to see how you all like this new chapter! Again, I am so sorry for leaving you all hanging and will try my best to continue with this story and update more consistently. Much love and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

I own nothing.

 **Chapter 9: Take Your Time**

 _I am here to fight  
For only love decides  
In the morning light  
I will wake to find you  
Opening your eyes._

 _-Cary Brothers_

DPOV

"You gonna get that buddy?" Ric asked me for the second time as I continued to dodge Katherine's call.

"I don't think even I've drank enough Bourbon to answer that," I say this while pushing the phone away from me, treating it like it was infected.

"Good thing I have," Ric smiles at my confused expression before he answers my phone quickly, giving me no time to snatch it out of his hands. "Damon's pimp speaking." I roll my eyes, letting him have his fun before his smile drops and he hands me the phone. "I thought you liked the wild and fun ones, guess you're more into the ones that threaten people's lives," he says as I lift the phone to my ear, giving a quick glance at the dance floor before I speak into the phone. Elena looks sexy as hell and that little hip roll has me antsy to grab her and whisk her away and into my bedroom as soon as possible. She gives me a knowing smirk and I give her a death glare for torturing me, making her laugh from a distance before refocusing on Caroline.

"Are you mute?" I hear the growl of my ex on the other line and immediately go to hang up the phone before she stops me with a single sentence. "I'm calling to warn you, don't worry I haven't gone soft I just feel that I owe you one so listen up."

"I'm listening," I say, trying to hide my concern. Katherine only cares about herself, so for her to be calling on behalf of someone else isn't a good sign. I took her silence as an opportunity to leave my place at the bar, walking down the sidewalk outside of the Grille so I could hear her voice more clearly.

"Is Stefan with you?" She asks me seriously.

"Look if this is about the threesome you asked for years ago the answer is still no," I say with a smirk, knowing the statement would make her blood boil.

"I never asked for a threesome you obnoxious bastard, I'm being serious, unless you want to risk the well-being of your sweet little Elena," she says this with a pleased tone.

"How the fuck do you know about Elena?" I ask with contempt, protectiveness oozing from my voice.

"I guess I've struck a nerve. Does Elena enjoy having her own personal guard dog? I know everything, Damon, don't you remember me at all?"

"I try not to," I say flippantly, "as much as I enjoy this banter of ours, let's cut to the chase, what information do you have?"

"Look, I went to see Stefan before he left. Something isn't right with him and you need to be careful," she says this seriously and I laugh.

"Why the hell would I need to be careful around someone who hasn't even killed a fly? I can handle whatever's up my brother's ass, thanks for your concern," I almost hang up when she yells at me to stay on the line.

"Damon I'm not joking. I thought the same exact thing and was nearly put in the hospital. He attacked me, luckily I can kick his ass and do my nails at the same time. I don't think I can say the same about Elena. We can talk about how I know of her at a later date, but if he catches a glimpse of her she's in trouble. He said as much to me when he left, not that I gave him much of an opportunity with my right hook. Just thought I would let you know, I know I screwed you over once and wasn't going to do it again," she said this with a sincerity that made this even more confusing to me than it already was. _Saint Stefan attacking Katherine? No way in hell. But why would she lie when she has nothing to gain?_

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because as much as you don't think so, the part of my heart that still functions right holds a place for you and Stefan. I did care about you two, and whether you believe me or not I'm worried about you both. Stefan's drinking is out of control, you saw what happened with his accident. After that he went on another bender and nearly pummeled me. I think that when he and Elena split up he lost it and now that they're in the same area code…" she trailed off leaving me to connect the dots.

"I know how Stefan gets with alcohol, but I thought he learned his lesson after he almost got himself killed," I say with a tight voice.

"So did I, I'm the one who took over watching him when you left. He's spiraling out of control, Damon. He needs to be stopped."

"I never thought I'd say this…but thank you Katherine. You may be an evil slut, but I always knew your heart beat for me," I say this with a short laugh and I heard her sigh in annoyance.

"It was nice speaking with you too, Damon. Just take care of it, I have some interest in your precious Elena," before I could ask her why she hung up. Typical Katherine, way to melodramatic for her own good, but at least I had a warning.

When I returned to my place at the bar I noticed not only Alaric missing, but also Elena, Caroline, and Stefan. _Shit_. _How long had I been on the phone?_ I hurriedly ran my eyes over the people dancing and talking all over the Grille, confirming that all four of them were gone. I tried calling Elena's cell first with no answer, then Stefan's, then Alaric's, and finally Caroline's. Alaric picked up and told me to fuck off since he was at Jenna's. Caroline picked up and told me never to call her again or else the boy toy she was with would kick my ass. That left Elena and Stefan's whereabouts unknown, exactly what I hadn't been hoping for. I hadn't been this worried about someone since Elena's attack and my thoughts were slowly wandering into dangerous territory. I needed to find her, _now_. Setting my Bourbon down with a slam I checked the parking lot to see if her car was still here, which it was, and then went toward the alleyway since I had already covered the sidewalks outside the Grille while on the phone with Katherine.

That's when I heard a voice screaming my name. _Her_ voice. Normally, I would've killed to hear that sound, but the terror imbued in the screams gave me a nauseous feeling. The nausea passed as rage flooded through my body, my adrenaline causing me to run as fast as I ever had in my life.

EPOV

"Stefan! Stefan, please! This isn't you!" I begged him to stop in desperate sobs.

"Just shut up! You don't get to tell me who I am, you obviously don't care anymore," he said this as he ripped the rest of my clothes off, the cold brick shocking my hot skin. I continued to scream Damon's name, hoping he was somewhere close enough to hear, but doubted it. I hadn't gotten a new phone yet, so screaming for him was my last hope, until Stefan intervened. "I said shut up!" He screamed this at me with such rage that a tremor of dread waved through my body and then he rammed my head into the brick again. The black spots I had forced away earlier were not leaving anymore, becoming more prevalent by the seconds. That's when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a figure running toward us. I heard muffled voices and felt Stefan's body leave mine. The minute the support of his body was torn away from mine I fell onto the asphalt, gasping for breath and squeezing my eyes shut forcefully to try and get rid of the black spots. I knew that this was my only chance to escape and had to be able to stand upright so that I could run.

As if the figure heard my thoughts exactly, he yelled, "Elena, run! Run, now!" It was Damon and his voice was filled with worry and exhaustion as he fought his drunken excuse of a brother.

"Damon, I…" I wobbled to my feet and gripped the brick for support while trying to cover my body, only in my bra and underwear. From my position in the alley I saw him throw his jacket off toward me, nodding his head toward the alley's exit. I used every ounce of strength I had to push myself off of the brick wall, but once I bent down to get his jacket my world spun. I still heard the grunts and punches but my vision turned completely black and I felt my body topple over the jacket.

I didn't know exactly how long I had been out, honestly I had been in and out of consciousness for what felt like a lifetime by now, but once I finally lifted my weak body from the cold asphalt I realized that Damon was still fighting Stefan. I knew I had to help. I threw on his leather jacket, zipping it up so it was more of a really short dress, and searched for a weapon. An old, rusted pipe came into my line of vision, but it was all the way on the other end of the alley. I just hoped Damon cold hold on until then, which he seemed more than capable of doing considering most of the blood I could see was on Stefan's face. I knew that Damon could kick Stefan's ass, it was just taking longer than usual with him worrying about me, so I needed to speed up the process. I had never felt so much hate in my life for a single person, I was someone who never held hate and always learned to accept and forgive. Although I had previously seen the good in every soul I had encountered, I now saw Stefan in a new light. He held no good in my eyes, and I let that hate spark inside of me as I gripped onto the rusted pipe and walked toward them.

Before either of them realized I was standing close by, I swung the pipe and watched it connect with the back of Stefan's head. I heard a growl of pure anger and darkness and realized it was mine as I continued to hit Stefan. Damon's eyes widened at the sight and he had to yank me away from Stefan, "What are you doing, let go of me!" I yelled angrily at him, still locking my gaze on Stefan's now limp body.

"I'm saving you from yourself," he said into my ear as he gripped me from behind, trying to drag me away.

"Damon let go of me! Damon let go of me!" I turned in his arms and began to pound against his chest, using all the strength that was left in me. I began to feel woozy and regretted using the rest of my energy fighting him. With the last punch to his chest I felt a sharp pain in my head and placed my hands on my knees, doubled over in pain.

"Elena!" Damon worriedly lifted my head up to gaze into his electric blue eyes, pressing a finger to my lip to shift my face up to his. Whatever he saw in my eyes was enough to rattle him and he lifted me up into his arms and began to carry me out of the alley.

"What about Stefan?" I asked weakly. Although I knew I shouldn't care about what happened to him, he was still Damon's brother and obviously needed medical attention. I felt Damon's body tense and saw his eyes grow cold.

"I don't give a shit about him, Elena. I need to get you out of here. Now," he said frigidly.

"But…" I was about to reason with him that he was still his brother when he stopped walking and looked down at me fiercely. My breath caught in my throat at his intense gaze.

" _I will always choose you_ ," his face grew nearer to mine with each word and our eyes locked as I drew in a shaky breath. I didn't know what to say, no one had ever looked at me so intensely, no one had ever cared _that_ much about me before. It was both scary and heartwarming, the intensity between us made my heart race, but it also made me feel completely safe knowing that he would do anything for me. In that moment, I wouldn't have been surprised if he risked his life for me, and as much as I appreciated that sentiment, I would never let that happen. I let my eyes shift to our surroundings and felt Damon begin to move again.

"Damon…" I breathed out, "let me walk on my own, I don't want to raise any suspicion to what just happened."

"Nope." It was a simple word, one that probably wouldn't budge but I had to try.

"Damon, please," I cried out, despite feeling the massive ache in my skull again. He didn't answer, keeping his eyes trained straight ahead to avoid mine. After a few seconds of trying to get him to look at me and put me down, I felt myself drift off to the rhythm of his steps against the sidewalk.


End file.
